


A Case of a Curse

by SpookOrSpectre



Series: Enigma Project [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Horror, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22095475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookOrSpectre/pseuds/SpookOrSpectre
Summary: Nick and Judy are on patrol when they're asked to do a well-check on a raccoon. Sadly, he isn't doing very well, and they stumble across a book in his apartment that gives them quite a scare. They request help from their friends at the intelligence agency, and hijinks of the highest order ensue.
Series: Enigma Project [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590415
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Just in Case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a carbon copy, original author's notes and all, of one of my stories from FF.net, I've posted it here due to some demand from my friends to get on AO3.
> 
> A/N: It's back! The Enigma Project series continues. This story should be pretty silly, and we might get a glimpse of the larger storyline here, but I'm not sure. The overarching concept behind this series is pretty serious and dark, so it might not really have a place here.
> 
> I'm trying to make this story as lighthearted as possible (with some dark humor at the beginning here), so let me know if you think it's funny! Before we start, be sure to read 'The Culprit From Hell' if you haven't, I'm proud of how it turned out for a first fic, and it'll get you caught up with this one.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Judy opened her eyes and looked over at the alarm clock. it read 4:57 AM. She had woken up before her alarm, just like she always did. She lay in bed, waiting for a few minutes, thinking about the day ahead. _Wonder why people commit more crimes during the weekend…_ She pondered. Bogo had been assigning them patrol for a few weeks now, and every day they'd bring in at least a dozen mammals. She looked back at the clock just in time for the alarm to go off and turned it off.

She lifted the covers off of herself and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. The sun hadn't risen yet, leaving the room quite dark, and she reached for her phone on the nightstand. Her paw found the wooden surface, but not the phone. She felt around a bit and started getting worried. Her other paw joined the search, and hopelessly padded along. 

_Shoot..._

She had just moved into a new apartment a week ago, and she still didn't have a lamp. On top of that, she had positioned her bed on the other side of the room from the light switch. Her plan was to use her phone's flashlight for the time being, but she had left it somewhere else. She carefully stood up, reaching her arms in front of her and shuffling toward the switch. She reached out, waiting for her digits to touch something. She felt something in the darkness and jumped. 

It was the wall.

She moved along it and found the light switch, flipping it without thinking and immediately blinding herself. She rubbed her eyes and blinked, trying to adjust. It took a good minute or two before she was able to keep her eyes open, albeit in a squint. She made her way into the bathroom and took off her clothes, hopping in the shower. She washed up, dried off, and put on a bathrobe, walking into the kitchen to make herself breakfast.

After finishing her cereal she brushed her teeth and put on her uniform, pinning on her badge. She opened her door and set off down the hall to the stairs, heading over to Nick's apartment. She stopped in front of his door and reached lit to knock when it opened.

“Good morning fluff!” Nick said.

“Well how about that, I don't have to yell at you to hurry up!”

“Nope, not today carrots,” he said as he closed his door, “unsurprisingly, I fell asleep at seven yesterday. Woke up at four this morning.”

“Yeah, yesterday was crazy. I still can't believe we made twenty arrests!” Judy said as they started walking down the hall.

“Neither can my body.”

“Hah! You gotta exercise more slick.”

“Thanks for the enlightenment, captain hindsight,” he said as he hit the button for the elevator.

“Well you should!”

“Yeah but cardio sucks, and I'm afraid of weights,”

“We get enough cardio at work, don’t worry about that, but you can't be afraid of weights! You just gotta be careful and smart,”

“I don't think I'll have your squat genes though fluff, don't you hold a record at the ZPD?” Nick asked as they got on the elevator.

“Yeah, third heaviest back squat, only like 560 pounds is all,” She said, beaming with pride

“That's scary.”

“Not as scary as having a weak core and legs, as well as bad lifting technique that leaves you super prone to spine injuries,” Judy replied as they got off of the elevator.

“Well, if you coach me I'll give it a try.”

“Deals on slick,” She said as they left their building and headed down the street. The two made their way down to the subway platform and waiter for the train to come. A rush of air signaled the approach of a train and it came barreling down the tracks a moment later. It slowly screeched to a halt and the two stepped on, able to get a seat near the doors due to how vacant it was.

As if by instinct, they stopped talking to each other and got out their phones, despite them being the only two in their car. When it was busy, nobody spoke on the subway, everyone avoided all eye contact and kept to themselves. This meant ‘get out your phone’ for most mammals, and this included Nick and Judy too. They were on the subway during peak hours most of the time, and going into this silent mode was second nature.

After a few minutes of aimlessly wandering around their apps, various websites, and social media, trying to find something to do, the train arrived at their stop. They robotically put their phones away and stood up, walking through the doors onto the platform.

“That was a quiet ride, I haven't seen the subway like that in a while,” Nick said.

“It _is_ six A.M. on a Saturday slick.”

“It's a quiet Saturday morning!”

“Have you ever seen a loud Saturday morning?”

“Well, that depends on what you mean by morning,” He said with a smirk.

“Ha! You're not wrong there,” She replied. They had seen quite a few loud Saturday mornings as officers, if you preferred not to just call them late Friday nights. They walked up the stairs to the surface and were reminded of how nice the weather had been recently. There wasn't a cloud in the early morning sky, and the temperature was near perfect. There was a slightly cool breeze that would help with the inevitable heat later in the day.

A quick walk from the station lead them to the grand Precinct One, its towering stone pillars dominating the park square. Nick opened the outside door for Judy, and she opened the second for him. Immediately they were greeted by a lazy wave from a tired Clawhauser. They waved back and walked up to the front desk, Nick leaning up against it while Judy jumped up on top of it.

“Tired Ben?” Judy asked, to which he sighed, yawning in the middle of his sentence.

“Yeah, I don't think I'm ever ready for these... 6 o’clock shifts…” He said mid-yawn. Judy chuckled, but Nick had slightly more sympathy. Although he had gotten used to it by now, he never was a morning person. He wasn't exactly like Judy, who woke up before her alarm clock every day.

“Hang in there Claws. So, you got any news for us?” He asked.

“Not much. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with all the money you guys have saved me on dinners,” he said.

“Oh that's gonna be so hard,” Nick teased.

“Oh shush Nick,” Judy chided, Nick replying with his trademark smirk. There was an awkward pause where the three had run out of things to say. 

“Great weather today,” Judy said, quite genuinely. The other two glared at her as if to say ‘ _really?’_

“What! It's actually nice!” She said defensively. Nick waved her off with his paw.

“Yeah it's nice, but you don't talk about the weather for small talk,” he said.

“I can't just say something about the weather?” Judy said, getting a little irritated.

“No, its plebeian,” Nick replied. He was still used to a world of smooth-talking con artists.

“Plebeian?” Judy said, offended.

“Yes, it makes me feel like we're living in the 19th century.”

“Alright, you got your timeline way outta wack slick.”

“Hey you two, no fighting!” Ben said.

“We are not fighting,” they chorused back.

“And you glared, you can't tell us not to fight!” Judy said.

“Yeah!” Nick agreed.

“Oh stop it, you glared too,” Judy said to Nick. Nick put a paw to his chest in offense but was interrupted by the chief screaming down at them.

“GET YOUR LAZY, STUPID, ANGRY TAILS ON PATROL WHOPS! I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH YOU TWO BICKERING!” He bellowed, using the new nickname that had been floating around.

“Sorry!” They said meekly, ears down. 

“Well, I guess that's it for our morning talk. Cya later Ben,” Judy said as she jumped off the counter. 

“Cya guys, stay safe out there.”

“Thanks, claws, cya later,” Nick said as the two started walking to the damp garage. They opened the heavy steel door and started making their way to their cruiser. After getting in and putting on their seatbelts they headed out for what was probably going to be another exciting patrol. They were sure to run into criminals who thought they could evade the law given the day and time.

But something loomed over them, a thought they could get out of their heads. Although they enjoyed the excitement of cleaning up the streets, they were a little spoiled by having been chased by a giant spider alongside secret government agents. That was the kind of excitement they needed. For a while, it terrified them, but now they wanted more.

“Wonder what those agents are up to now…” Nick pondered, staring out the window through his shades.

“God only knows,” Judy said. He bobbed his head in agreement.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tanya was just getting out of bed in her home in Tundratown. _It's Saturday, why can't my damn brain just turn off and let me sleep…_ She thought as she swung her legs out over the edge of the bed. She picked her phone up to find a text from James. 

‘ _In the office. Stop by if you wanna go over some potential cases,’_ it read. They enjoyed what they did so the two went overtime often, even coming in on weekends. However, Tanya didn't understand how he got up so early, mornings weren't her thing. She hopped off the bed and walked into the bathroom, looking herself over in the mirror. She had the equivalent of full body bed head, her thick fur pointing every which way. Her markings looked like a jigsaw puzzle that was assembled by sheer force.

There was only one way to fix this level of disorder, and she stepped into the shower. She shampooed and conditioned her coat and dried herself off. Then she went through the procedure of brushing every last bit of her fur. Once she was done she went downstairs to make herself breakfast, making eggs and toast. She was sitting there, enjoying her breakfast, when she got a bit of the over-easy yolk on her paw. 

_Damnit…_

_Must lick…_

_No, you are civilized._

_LICK_

_NO!_

_LICK IT_

“Ugh…” She complained, cocking her head slightly. Her instinctual desire to clean herself was quite irritating at times. She knew, though, that if she started, she would not be able to stop until it was… _CLEAN._

_I swear to God lizard brain, if you get me stuck licking my fur for half an hour I will have you removed._

_UNCLEAN_

_I just took a shower!_

_SPOT_

_It's only one spot! I'll just wash it off in the sink..._

She had resisted it successfully and got up to walk over to the sink. She started to rinse the spot off, remembering all of the times she had been completely covered in much worse than egg yolk. She was very glad that for whatever reason she didn't have the urge to lick herself clean all the time. She couldn't imagine that ectoplasm would have tasted very good. 

It wasn't very long before the soap did its work, and the spot was gone. She dried her fluffy paw, continuing the rest of her morning routine. Once she was ready she put her suit on, and in doing so had a slight ghost pain in her chest. She grabbed at it with her paw and recalled the day Rhinowitz had shot her. She remembered the two officers that they had got involved with. It had only been two weeks.

She stood for a moment, looking in the mirror. It wasn't often that she had flashbacks to traumatic events, and what was even stranger was that the suit had triggered it. She had been through so much in the suit, it's odd that she would connect that with the uniform. She moved on rather quickly but kept it in mind while she picked some stray hairs off of her tie. _Maybe we’ll run into the two soon…_ she thought.

She went to the garage and got in her car, ready to deal with the perpetually horrible roads in Tundratown once again. It was a spooky drive to Sahara square, but once she made it to the border the roads were much better, and it wasn't much farther to the headquarters. She parked in the underground parking lot and made her way up to the lobby, checking in at the front desk. She showed her badge for clearance into the office spaces and walked to her office, finding James hovering over a stack of papers.

“Anything interesting?” She asked casually. James jumped, spooked.

“Oh, Jesus Tanya... You gotta remember you're a cat,” he said. She did this regularly, startling people by silently approaching them.

“Sorry! I can't help it!” She said, smiling, amused by her innate ability to startle people unwittingly. She took a seat at her desk and started getting some files out to look over.

“Anyways, to answer your question; no, there's nothing interesting. Nothing recent at least,” He said.

She was about to respond when the phone rang.

They looked at each other confused, wondering who would be calling them on a Saturday morning. The caller ID on the phone simply said ‘Cell Phone ZT.’ Tanya motioned for James to pick it up, and he nodded, lifting the phone and putting it to his ear.

“Authorization?” He said, needing verification that whoever this was had permission to speak with him.

 _“Oh… sorry, I think I might have the wrong number…”_ The female voice said. James was confused. _Our number is 31 digits long, how the hell do you accidentally call us?_

“Wait. Is that…?” Tanya said, her sensitive hearing barely picking up who was speaking.

 _“Did I hear Tanya? This is James, right? James Miller?”_ The voice asked.

“Who is this and why are you calling?” James asked, irritated.

“James I think it's…. Oh, uh, its… oh God, what's her name… Judy! Judy Hopps, right?” Tanya said.

 _“Yes, sorry!”_ Judy said with a nervous chuckle.

“Oh! Well, good morning Officer Hopps! No worries. What's goin on?” James asked.

* * *

An hour earlier, Nick and Judy were sitting in their cruiser, and they were quite bored. Their patrol was strangely quiet. They were at a stoplight when Nick saw an African wild dog jaywalk across the street behind them. He picked up his mic and turned on the megaphone.

“Hey, hey you… the A.W.D, yeah you know what you did… Yeah, no, you can't do that! Don't you wave your arms at me! You're lucky I'm just giving you a warning!” Nick said, his voice bellowing out for all to hear.

“Nick, would you quit abusing the PA system?” Judy said quietly, her voice coming out through the speakers as well. Nick replied in a hushed tone but he could still be heard.

“I am not abusing it, you saw what he did!”

“You can't just shout at mammals on the street with it!” She whispered venomously, realizing their conversation was still being picked up.

“I can and I will!” he said equally quiet, but still audible outside.

“Shut it off!” She mouthed, and he did so. They sat for a few moments, Judy glaring through the windshield, Nick smirking his face off.

“You gotta admit that's a perfect use of that system,” Nick said. A smile grew across Judy's face.

“You are the worst,” she said, shaking her head slowly, the smile growing.

“Correction, Carrots; the best,” he said, garnering a massive eye roll from a still smiling Judy. Suddenly the radio crackled on, startling the two of them.

“Whops, we got a report of a mammal not having left their home in a few days, could you do a well-check on the following,” Clawhauser said, transmitting the individual's records and giving their address to the onboard GPS.

“Sure thing Ben. Nick could you read off some of the info on them,” Judy asked. Nick tapped the dashboard screen a few times and had the files open.

“It is one ‘Dennis Brodeur,’ a raccoon, 36 years old, living alone. Says here he has no criminal record… nothing super interesting about him... He's a general manager at a local toy store… huh, this is a little worrying, his medical records indicate he's had a history of heart issues, nothing recent though. Let's hope this guy's ok.”

“Yeah, that doesn't sound good. Nothing recent though?”

“No, says his last incident was over 9 years ago, so let's hope this isn't a recurrence,” Nick said. The address was in a decent part of Sahara Square, right on the border with Savannah Central. It seemed like an apartment building, so this may be interesting, though given the neighborhood it's not going to be _that_ interesting. Judy started making her way there, and it wasn't long before they arrived. She parked and stepped out of the car, Nick hesitating before getting out.

“Should I bring the lock picking kit?”

“Can't hurt, you might as well,” Judy replied. As Nick got out of the car he saw the name of the apartment complex and couldn't quite comprehend the sheer mundaneness of the title.

“Wow. ‘Village Park Place.’ Wonder how long it took them to come up with that one,” Nick said as they walked away from their cruiser.

“I think I've vomited up alphabettios into catchier apartment names,” Judy said, laughing.

“Well, they'd certainly be a little more interesting,” Nick added. They walked to the front entrance and went through the doors. From what they could tell it was a decent building, with what seemed like a well kept and well-decorated lobby. They went up to the granite-topped reception desk and surprised a pig, who greeted them from behind the counter.

“Oh, good morning officers! What can I do for you?” He asked politely.

“We were asked to do a well-check on a mammal in 432, could you show us where that is?” Judy asked.

“Sure! Right this way,” he said as he stood up, walking around the counter and leading them to the elevators.

“So, do you know anything about Mr. Brodeur?” Nick asked as the pig hit the button for the elevator.

“Not really, sorry. Nothing worth anything to you guys anyways. I do know that nobody has seen him in a couple days, so people have been worried,” he said.

“Well, you never know what might come in handy to us, if you know something but think it's just an anecdote or a rumor just let us know anyways,” Judy said as the elevator dinged.

“Well, it might sound goofy, but there are rumors that he practices some weird black magic rituals. I don't know if that's true, but he is a little creepy, that's for sure,” the pig said as he stepped in the elevator, the officers following. They gave each other a worried glance, and there was an awkward silence as the elevator went up to the fourth floor. The elevator doors opened and the pig led the way again.

“Right this way,” he said as he led them to the door. He stopped just before it and made a bit of a face as he sniffed the air. “Well I don't like that smell so I'm just gonna get out of here and let you guys do your thing,” he said as he hurriedly walked away. Nick sniffed the air and faintly detected something, but it wasn't clear, and Judy couldn't smell it at all.

“That doesn't sound good, can you smell what he's smelling?” Judy said, the pig having freaked her out.

“A little, not really... let's just knock,” Nick said, rapping on the door. “Mr. Brodeur, this is the ZPD, we’re just checking up to make sure you're ok,” he said in a polite but raised tone. They waited to no response.

Nick knocked again and called out his name again.

No response. Nick sniffed the air, a stunned look on his face.

“Oh no… Judy, I think I smell what that pig was talking about,” he said.

“What, what is it?” she asked as he started getting the lock picking kit out of his pocket.

“Not good, seems like blood to me,” he said, to which Judy let out a quiet _‘oh shit’_ as she drew her tranq gun. He calmly and precisely opened the lock, and gave a look to Judy, the two of them drawing their tranq guns. He mouthed _‘one… two… three…’_ and pulled the door open, Judy leading, Nick following. They entered to the left of the kitchen, a living room straight ahead, a closet to the left of them and a doorway into the bedroom on the same wall. There was nobody there and no sign of breaking and entering or really any disorder, so they started checking some rooms.

Nick checked the closet quickly, and when he went into the living room he noticed a strange book on the coffee table. Judy went into the bedroom and found nothing, but she immediately called out to Nick when she opened the door to the bathroom, Nick running to her. When he got to her she had already closed the door, one paw on the door handle and one covering her muzzle. They just stood there for a moment, Judy in shock, Nick in shock that Judy was in shock. 

“What's in there?” Nick asked, his mind racing.

“What's left of Mr. Brodeur… and it's really, really not pretty…” She said.

“Should I even look?”

“I don't think you need to… it's bad just trust me.”

“I'm kinda curious…” He said. She took her paw off the door handle, putting her paws in the air as if to say ‘if you want, I won't stop you,’ and he walked over to the door, opening it to immediately understand what had Judy so upset.

“Oh, Jesus…” 

“Yeah…”

“God, who… what… ugh!”

“Why are you still looking at it?”

“I don't know! I'm just trying to figure it out… like, how did his hindpaw get over there?... How did he get his arm all the way-”

“I don't wanna think about it, Nick! Let's just figure out what's going on here. I don't want to sound ridiculous but this doesn't look like something a mammal could do without disturbing the rest of the place. Before we call this in to the ZPD we should figure out whether or not this is something for the agents to take care of.”

“I agree, but let's not eliminate the possibility of foul play. Let's search the place and see what we can find,” Nick said. Judy nodded and they put on their nitrile gloves. They poked around the house, looking for small details, Judy even crawling around on the floor to look for possible incriminating evidence. Eventually, Judy stopped, figuring she had checked everything she could, and met Nick in the living room.

“This place is pretty much spotless,” she said to him as he fiddled with the blinds.

“Yeah, there's nothing going on here to suspect foul play. You gotta wonder if this had something to do with it,” he said as he picked the old book up off of the coffee table.

“Didn't that pig say something about black magic?”

“Yeah, he did… man, this is old, and it looks like it's got a leather binding…” Nick said, putting his other paw on the book, disturbed by the fact he had a dead mammal's skin in his hands. Then he tried to read the title, and a purple light illuminated the book. It flowed into his paws, traveling through his body and into the floor. It zipped across the floor like a lightning bolt and crept up through Judy's hindpaws, pouring out through her nose and back into the book.

“Oh God, what did you do…” Judy said, thoroughly freaked out.

“I think you might wanna give those two a call,” Nick said, setting the book down gently on the table. Judy immediately pulled out her phone and dialed the strange number Tanya had given her. Someone on the other end picked up and a male voice spoke.

 _“Authorization,”_ he said. It sounded like James but Judy wasn't sure.

“Oh… sorry, I think I might have the wrong number…” She said, trying not to sound frantic. Judy then heard another voice coming through faintly, a female voice.

 _“Wait. Is that…”_ they said.

“Did I hear Tanya? This is James, right? James Miller?” Judy asked a little more nervously.

 _“Who is this and why are you calling?”_ The male voice asked authoritatively, leaving Judy lost for words. Then the female voice came through, slightly louder.

“ _James I think it's…. Oh, uh, it's… oh God, what's her name… Judy! Judy Hopps, right?”_ Tanya said.

“Yes, sorry!” Judy said with a nervous chuckle.

 _“Oh! Well, good morning Officer Hopps! No worries. So, what's goin on?”_ James said.

“Well we just found a mammal murdered with no way another did it, and something else that has us really spooked, this is right up your guy's alley. If you guys aren’t busy we’d really appreciate it if you guys could come over here quick.”

 _“Oh! Yeah for sure! This is great! We've been looking for something to do, we’ll be on our way, ETA 5 minutes,”_ James said, hanging up. Judy took the phone off of her ear and looked at Nick, confused.

“Wait, how will they know where we… oh, yeah, A3I, cellphones,” Judy thought out loud, figuring out the answer to her own question mid-sentence.

“Those two are kinda scary sometimes,” Nick said.

“Yeah… although, they're a little too goofy to actually be scary,” Judy said.

“Ha! Yeah, especially Tanya,” Nick said.

“I've heard all those brainy types are like that,” Judy said, remembering that Tanya used to be a physicist. They stood around for a moment, a lapse in their conversation and a lack of things to do.

“Should I go get the police tape out of the cruizer?” Judy asked.

“I bet those two will close it off themselves. Either that or they'll have one of those ‘cleanup crews’ over too fast for it to matter,” he replied. Judy let out a ‘hmph’ and they continued to stand in the living room. 

“I really hope that purple light was nothing, I don't want to end up like Mr. Brodeur,” Judy said, fidgeting with her paws.

“Well, nothing’s happened so far, and I'm sure they'll be able to help us when they get here,” Nick said, trying to calm his own nerves more than anything. He sat down on the couch and Judy followed shortly, the two taking out their phones. After a few minutes, they heard footsteps down the hall, and they got up off the couch to meet the agents at the door. The now completely terrified pig showed the two to the room and the agents stepped in.

“Hey guys! Good to see you two again,” Tanya said.

“Yeah, we’re glad you two called we didn't have much to do,” James added.

“No problem. We're glad you guys are here because we are kinda freaked out. So, Nick picked up that book and tried to read the title, and this energy came out of it and like circled through us and back into the book… knowing what happened to the owner of the book, we’re not happy,” Judy said. James let out a hmph, Tanya walking over to the book.

“You said it circled through you, what do you mean?” Tanya said as she picked it up. 

“Well, it went into my paws, through me, into the floor, up through Judy, and back into the book through the air,” Nick said.

“Huh… well, that's a good thing. I've actually found out something interesting about spirits and souls and such, they behave like forces and energy. The law of conservation of energy holds, its fascinating. That is to say, only open systems can be nonconservative.”

The three looked at her, confused. James was less confused, as he had stopped trying to understand her when she said this sort of thing. She noticed and decided to clarify.

“Um… Oh, ok. So, if we just look at your soul on its own, something interacting with you from outside can do whatever since something new is entering and disrupting the system. However, if we look at you and whatever the other thing is as a system, with no external influences, then overall you can't gain or lose anything, so either the book takes your soul, you absorb its energy, or nothing happens.”

They were not quite there but they were close to getting it.

“Moral of the story, you won't die,” she said.

“Oh! Oh good. Is anything going to happen to us?” Judy asked.

“Well, it's hard to say. By reading the title Nick did something, but whether it was getting the book familiar with you two so you can practice more rituals, or giving you cancer, we won't know until something, or nothing happens,” Tanya said.

“Wait, I thought you said it couldn't kill us!”

“Well, not directly, so you aren't in immediate danger, but you could get sick. I think whatever sickness you get could be undone through the same book though so don't worry.”

“Oh, wait a minute, black magic can cure some illnesses?” Nick asked.

“Sort of, why?”

“Well that explains why this guy was doing it, he had a heart condition.”

“Oh, yeah people always try that. Don't, it's dumb… as you can tell. Speaking of which, where is, you know, the mammal?”

“In the bathroom,” Judy said, pointing to the bedroom. The agents walked into the bedroom and opened the door to the bathroom, the officers waiting in the kitchen.

 _“Icky...”_ they heard Tanya say. 

_“Oh hey, I have that same shirt at home!”_ James said.

“Shirt?” Nick wondered.

“Yeah what shirt?” Judy agreed.

“There was a shirt in there?” Nick shouted to them.

 _“Yeah, didn't you guys check the ceiling?”_ James shouted back, to which they both shuddered.

“No, we kinda just got out of there,” Nick shouted.

 _“You're missing out!”_ James replied. Tanya walked out of the bedroom back to the two officers.

“Oh God, I'm done looking at that. He's having a great time in there though. Detectives and their creepy tolerance for gore,” she said to them.

“Yeah we don't need any more of that either,” Judy agreed.

“Any ideas about what happened,” Nick asked. 

“Well, he did something to piss the book off, that's for sure. Could be a lot of things,” Tanya said, just as James was walking out of the bedroom.

“Yeah, that's not possible for a mammal. Verdict Tanya?” He said.

“Black magic backfired.”

“Sounds about right to me. What about these two, they cursed or somethin?”

“Could be, might not be, we’ll just have to wait and see. I think they'll be ok, the name of the book wasn't terribly complicated, so it can't be that bad,” Tanya said.

“Huh, well gee this was quick. Wish we could work on another case together,” James said, remembering how quickly they had resolved the Paradit case together. 

“Well, you never know, we might get a crippling disease and need Tanya to perform a black magic ritual on us,” Nick said.

“Yeah I got you guys covered, don't worry,” Tanya said.

“We better get this place cleaned up,” James said, pulling out his phone.

“Yeah, we can take care of the rest. We'll have a report for your chief, I'll personally deliver it once it's ready. For now, just say that it was a murder and that the A3I is taking over,” Tanya said. They didn't like lying but they also recognized the reasoning behind all of it, and they obliged.

“Sounds like a plan. We better get back on our patrol, see you guys around,” Judy said as they left. They walked down the hallway and Judy noticed a worried look on Nick's face.

“You worried about the book thing too?”

“Yeah, I hope Tanya knows what she's doing. Wanna stay over tonight just in case?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, I don't wanna risk being alone,” Judy said. They returned to their cruiser and continued their patrol. The rest of the day went as usual, less busy than yesterday with only a few arrests and traffic stops. It ended with the two getting dinner at Bug-Burga and heading back to Nick's apartment. Throughout the day they had forgotten about the book, but as they got ready for bed the thought crept back into their heads. They went to sleep not knowing what would greet them in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here it is! Sorry that it took two weeks! The whole morning scene was just so awkward to write, it had me a little burnt out. Trying to avoid making it weird was incredibly hard, but I think it's more funny than awkward, or God forbid sexual. I wanted to avoid that at all costs, I can't stand that kind of stuff around Zootopia.
> 
> Also, thank you all for the reviews! It's great to know people are actually reading, the view/visit count and follow/favorite just aren't the same as seeing what people think.
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

Nick was in total darkness, weightless, floating on nothing. He looked at his paws, brightly illuminated against the black. His fur was rippling and waving along, as if it were underwater, but he didn't feel wet. He looked up to see the bright blue sky and a few clouds, all condensed into a circle, like he was looking through a lens. He swam up, and the circle that contained the whole sky remained unchanging as he moved to the surface, like he was never going to get there.

Suddenly he emerged from the dark sea and looked out at the endless expanse of water. Completely placid, glassy smooth water. He watched as his ripples spread out, ruining the perfect smoothness, and eventually it was matte with ripples. It bothered him, the absence of the smoothness. It ate away at him, the fact that he had disturbed the perfect water. The crystal clear, pitch-black water.  _ There's no bottom _ … he thought, terrifying him. He looked up to the blue sky, brightly illuminated by an apparently absent sun. Everything about where he was bothered him, and he wanted to get out of this tormenting water.

He sat up in bed and looked around for a moment. He looked at his alarm clock, which read twelve noon. He got out of bed and walked over to the window, opening the curtains. It was all black again. The same black. He stuck his head out of the closed window and felt his face become submerged. He looked up to see the sky in a circle just like before, and he started to swim up, chasing the ever distant sky. He broke through the surface without warning again and watched as the ripples disturbed the water once more.

There was a tiny island, and he swam to its shore, crawling up onto the warm sand to watch as the ripples became waves and the sky grew dark. The waves were getting stronger by the second, and he could feel the sand beneath him shake from the force of the water. He went further up the island to escape the dangerous ocean, and found Judy at the top, asleep on his couch.  _ I've got to wake her up, the waves are gonna drown her. _

He grabbed her shoulder and said her name. She roused a bit, beginning to cough up water. He stood by and held her while she coughed, but the water just wouldn't stop coming out. He watched, panicking, scared and powerless as she violently coughed, trying to expel the water from her lungs.

Then he woke up. He looked at his alarm clock, and it read 5:04. He immediately got up and went over to the window, opening the curtains again. Everything seemed normal, with the view from his window the same as always. The sun was not up yet, the sky a deep blue with warmer tints near the horizon.  _ Am I really awake? _ He asked himself. He walked over to his dresser and reached for his phone but it slipped right out of his paw, landing back on the dresser.

He grabbed at it again, and it slipped through his fingers like an oily ball of slime. He kept trying and couldn't get a solid grip on it, his fingers acting like spaghetti.  _ Guess I'm still sleeping _ , he figured. He stood, waiting for something to happen to rouse him from this sleep. A minute went by and he looked around, nothing having changed. He walked over to the door to the living room but he couldn't grab the doorknob either, and it clicked and rattled as he tried to get a hold of it.

On the other side, Judy was asleep on the couch, the clicking of the doorknob disturbing her rest. She began to wake up, the clicking getting louder and clearer to her as she regained consciousness. Soon enough she was aware enough to understand what was going on, and she eas terrified.  _ What the hell is trying to get through that door… _

“Nick?” She asked quietly.

Nick heard her and stopped.

_ “Judy?”  _ She heard him say, muffled through the door.

“Nick, what's going on?”

_ “This is just a dream… this isn't real… I just gotta wake up...” _

“Nick stop it, what's going on? Are you ok?” She worried.  _ Is it even Nick? _

_ “Its the door Judy, I can't get a grip on the knob.”  _ He said, to which she carefully stood up off the couch, slowly stepping towards the door. She stumbled and crashed onto the floor, unhurt but confused.

_ “What was that?” _

“I just tripped, it’s ok,” she said as she stood herself back up. She started walking to the door and fell, again, a few steps in, lurching forward in an attempt to regain balance and careening into the door. The loud crash and rattling of the door seemed like something trying to break through.

_ “Oh my god! NO! Go away! Please, don't eat me! Why can't I just wake up...” _

“Nick it's ok, I just tripped again and banged into the door,” Judy said, growing concerned for him.

Nick was convinced that some monster was trying to get through his door, pretending to be Judy. She had herself leaned up against the wall for support, and turned the knob, opening the door and peeking around the corner. She saw Nick, terrified and up against the wall.

“Nick it's me, it's ok,” she said, to which he whimpered. She shambled through the doorway, using the frame for support, and his expression softened as he watched her struggling to walk. He started walking over to her, realizing it really was just her, and she was relieved to see that he wasn't going completely crazy. He reached out to help her and she left the doorway, collapsing into him and starting to slide to the floor. He tried to hold on to her but she slipped through his grasp, making a quiet thump as she hit the floor. She looked up at him with a judgemental expression.

“Judy, I can't hold anything with my paws,” he said, more concerned with his inability to grasp than the fact that he had dropped her. Judy, of course, was concerned with the opposite… until it dawned on her.

“I can't walk right…” she realized. Nick's eyes bulged out of his head, his mind having put the pieces together.

“Well, I suppose this isn't the worst possible curse…” Nick said, to which Judy laughed.

“It beats a terminal illness… problem is, what are we gonna tell Bogo?” She asked from the floor.

“That's the million-dollar question carrots. You'll have to do the talking, I can't hold the phone,” Nick said, Judy rolling her eyes.

“Can you at least bring me the ph-?… Can you carry me to-?… Slick, you're kinda useless without paws.”

“Well gee Fluff I thought I meant a little more to you than that,” he teased.

“Don't kid yourself,” she teased back.

“Oh hey, I know how I can get the phone,” he said. He walked over to his nightstand and started picking it up with his mouth. Judy facepawed as he struggled, and didn't bother to watch him as he slid it part-way off of the stand to get it between his teeth. He walked over to her with the phone in his mouth and set it down next to her, a trail of saliva hanging off of it as he stood back up, a massive smirk on his face.

“Really?” She said, offended.

“Got the phone for ya.”

“Gee thanks,” she said as she wiped the wet device on the carpet a few times. Once it was at a satisfying level of cleanliness she dialed Bogo’s number directly. It wasn't a guarantee that he'd be there at 5:30, but it was likely.

_ “William Bogo, Chief of Police,”  _ he said in a rather flat tone.

“Hey, its Hopps. Nick and I are having some issues here… I don't think we're going to make it to work.”

_ “Oh, good morning Hopps…wait what? We need you two on patrol!”  _ Bogo said, more concerned than irritated.

“We're gonna need a sick day or two Chief.”

_ “You don't sound very sick to me. Are you and Nick eloping?” _

“What? No! No, It's just, we kinda got cursed by a black magic book yesterday and-”

_ “Alright enough, I don't want to hear it, get your asses to the precinct before I have you two sent to a psychiatric center,”  _ he said, promptly hanging up. Judy pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at Nick. They stared for a moment, Nick having heard the whole conversation.

“Eloping?” Judy said.

“That's what you’re worried about?” Nick said.

“I don't know! I just thought it was odd!... Do we really seem like a couple?”

“I don’t know Judy, I'm more worried about how we're gonna get to work, or how we keep this in the dark if we get sent to a hospital,” he said, worrying about the ramifications of being sent to a medical hospital with a top-secret ailment.

“Sweet cheese your right, we gotta get to work… literally,” she said. They were silent for a moment, wondering how to approach this endeavor.

“Well, first things first, breakfast. Did you bring breakfast?” Nick said.

“Yeah, packed a salad. what are you gonna eat?”

“Protein supplement shake.”

“Oooh, good for muscle building.”

“Sure, whatever… Question is, how am I gonna prepare or drink it?”

“We’ll figure things out,” Judy said as she started crawling to the kitchen, Nick following carefully.

“Where's the mixer and everything,” she asked.

“The mix is in the cabinet, mixer should be right next to it, we can skip the almond milk for convenience,” he replied. She got the mix and the shaker out of the cabinet near the floor, but getting water into it and shaking it was going to be the tough part. She started climbing Nick without warning.

“Woah, Woah! Carrots!” He said, barely keeping his balance.

“I just gotta get on the counter!”

“Geez, give me a little warning next time, you're kinda… well…”

“What?” She asked as she knelt on the counter.

“Nevermind…”

“What? What am I?” She said, concerned.

“There's no good way to say this, and it's definitely not an insult, it's not a comment on your appearance… but you're kinda heavy,” he said, cringing.

“Well yeah, can't squat a quarter ton with chicken legs!” She said proudly.

“I think that's the first time I've ever called someone heavy and they took it as a compliment.”

“Have you really called people heavy?”

“Well, I mean, when you put it that way it sounds terrible, but, I assure you It was not like that...”

“Let's not even get into it,” Judy said as she got a scoop of protein out of the container and poured it into the cup. She filled the mixer with water and shook it, smiling when she realized what had to be done now.

“I don't like that smile Fluff, that means somethings up,” he said. She snickered incredulously.

“Nothing, just come here and drink this,” she said. She held the container up for him and he put his paws around it. It was like feeding a giant baby, and Judy was having a very hard time keeping it together, her smile a mile wide. He continued drinking and looked at her with an eyebrow raised, wondering what had her so intensely amused. 

He stopped drinking for a second.

“Man I regret skipping the milk, this isn't that great,” he said. Judy tried to reply but had finally cracked.

“Oh come on… Ha! Come on Nicky-wicky-” she wheezed, “-Gaha! Be good and finish your  _ bottle… _ ” she said, her last word being entirely wheezed. She slammed the mixer down on the counter and fell to all fours in a fit of laughter. Nick just watched, his ears down and a non-amused look on his face.

“Yes, very funny Fluff… ok, alright, calm down… you're gonna hurt yourself at this rate,” he said. Judy wiped some tears from her eyes and sat up again.

“Ha! I'm sorry, I couldn't help it,” She said as she lifted it up for him again. He rolled his eyes and finished the shake. Judy then dropped herself off the counter and crawled over to her salad, finishing it fairly quickly.

“I guess we're skipping showers for the day?” Nick asked.

“Good call,” Judy replied, not interested in the idea of the two having to help bathe and clothe each other.  _ Wait, shit, we still have to clothe each other. _ “Let's just get our uniforms on and get to the precinct. I'm gonna change quick so... shoo," she said, gesturing for him to leave. He walked into the bedroom and after a few grunts and the sound of velcro she crawled into the bedroom, fully clothed in her uniform.

"Well that was quick," Nick said.

"Yeah, now time for the fun part," Judy said, dreading trying to get Nick dressed. Nick watched as she climbed onto his bed. He raised an eyebrow, questioning her choice of furniture.

"What? It's a good height and doesn't hurt my knees!" She said. Nick laughed a bit.

“You sure you're thinking about putting clothes  _ on _ right now?” He said.

“Ha! Yeah right! Get your clothes out before I hurt you, doofus,” she quipped. He smiled and walked over to his closet, grabbing the hanger that had his uniform on it. He walked it over to Judy, who took it out of his mouth to lay it on the bed. He then picked up an undershirt from his dresser and walked back over.

“So what's the game plan Fluff?”

“How about you do somethin’ like a supermammal pose and we get your undershirt on,” she said. He put his paws up in the air, leaning forward, and Judy got his arms through, followed by his head. She then picked up his button-up shirt and he stuck a paw in a sleeve, turning around and getting the other arm through. He faced her again and the two shared an uncomfortable moment as she buttoned up the shirt, Nick deciding to break the awkward silence. 

“Lovely weather today,” he said with a smirk.

“You are an ass…” She said, smiling and shaking her head. She finished the last button and picked up the tie from the bed.  _ Oh no, here we go… _ Nick thought, figuring she was going to have difficulty with the fabric-snake origami.

She put the tie around his neck and proceeded to tie it perfectly in a matter of seconds. He stared in amazement for a moment, confused by, and for some reason proud of, Judy's odd ability.

“Well how about that! Carrots is a machine!” He said as he looked down at it.

“When you have a million younger siblings who all need to dress up for church, you get pretty good at it. Now, let's just get this over with and get your pants on.”

“How's that gonna work?”

“I have no idea. Holding them up and having you step through is just asking for me to face plant right into your crotch.”

“Good point, let's not do that…”

“How about this; I'll put one leg over the bedpost and hold it while you put a leg in, and once it’s in, I'll hold the other leg while you get your other leg in.”

“it might just be dumb enough to work.”

Judy pulled a leg over the bedpost and held the other out for Nick to step in to. He got the leg in successfully and Judy took the other off of the bedpost, holding it open for him. He got the other leg in and she pulled them up the rest of the way, turning around so she could button the tail-cuff. Then he turned to face her, needing his zipper closed and buttoned.

“Just when I thought it was over,” Judy said. Nick stuck his paws down his pants, allowing her to grab the base of the zipper without grabbing anything else.

“Good thinking,” she said, zipping him up, then buttoning the button.  _ And now my boxers are completely bunched up and there's nothing anyone is going to do about it,  _ Nick thought.

“Now what?” Nick asked.

“Let's call a cab.”

“And how are you gonna get around?”

“Well, can you hold me u-… hmmm… I could hold your elbow?” 

“Do you think that'll be enough?”

“Hopefully… I think my legs work I just can't balance, they're weak.”

“Yeah same with my paws, they work they're just weak.”

“God I hope Tanya knows how to fix this.”

“You and I both… Let's try walking,” Nick said, holding out his elbow for Judy. She grabbed onto it and stumbled off the bed, Nick barely able to keep himself upright. She regained control and set her hindpaws on the ground, leaning heavily into Nick to keep herself upright. They started taking a few steps and with Nick's help, Judy was able to shuffle quite effectively. After a few paces around the room, she was able to walk normally, aside from leaning heavily into Nick.

“At least I  _ can _ walk, I just need help…” She said.

"Yeah, but how ridiculous does it look," Nick said, guiding her into the bathroom to look in the mirror. They paced in front of it for only a few seconds before they came to the same conclusion.

"Oh God... we're cute!" They said simultaneously.

"At least Clawhauser'll be happy," Nick offered.

"Yeah, we're never gonna hear the end of it from him.”

"I mean, it's not the worst thing..."

"No… I guess we kinda work..."

"Yeah, the red on gray doesn't look all too bad."

"Huh."

"Huh... alright, enough of that, let's call a cab, get to the precinct, and show buffalo butt that we're not gonna be arresting anyone anytime soon."

“Yeah, let's get this over with,” Judy said. She took her cell phone out and hailed a Roam, and they walked over to the door. Judy got a paw on the doorknob and pulled it open, squeezing into the gap and pushing the door the rest of the way for Nick, who then slipped through the doorway.

“Hey, wanna take the stairs today?” Nick asked sarcastically.

“Not really,” Judy replied as she pressed the button for the elevator. They rode it to the lobby and quickly made their way outside, wanting to be seen as little as possible. They practically dove into the cab.

“Precinct one, please,” Nick said.

“You got it. You two ok? You hurt or something miss?” The driver asked.

“Oh, no… its… complicated…” Judy said, nervous.

“Ohhh, I see… I'll keep quiet, don't worry… You know, it's funny, I had the same problem when I was dating this fennec once,” he said. The two immediately face-pawed. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, too far.”

“No it's not that, she just went a little too heavy with the workout yesterday,” Nick said.

“Oh! Wow, that’s awkward, I'm so sorry,” the beaver said, cringing. 

“Don’t worry about it, I should have just said so,” Judy added. The rest of the ride was an awkward silence, but luckily traffic wasn't much if an issue. Minutes later they arrived at precinct one.

“Thanks!” Judy said as they got out.

“No problem officers. And make sure to do some stretching! Don't want to get too tight… Your legs, I mean! Oh, geez you probably already knew what I meant… God, what is with me today…” The beaver said as he drove off. 

Nick pretended to swoon.

“Oh, I just love a man who has a way with words,” he said in a posh voice.

“Well, he ain't exactly you slick.”

“No Fluff, no he is not.” 

They made their way over to the doors, and Judy began pulling on the large glass door, Nick leaning away to offer some assistance. The door peeked open and she slid a paw in, then shimmied the rest of the way. She fell into the building and left Nick trapped, stuck between the heavy door and its frame.

“Little help fluff?” Nick asked, getting claustrophobic. She turned around and sat up, doing her best to push the door from a kneeling position. Nick tried to push but his paw slipped over the surface. Slowly the door inched enough for him to make it through and he was in. Now for the second set of doors. 

Clawhauser watched, nonplussed, as Judy fell into the precinct and crawled back to let a struggling Nick in. He stumbled in and allowed her to practically hang off of him while she regained her balance and start walking. They made it up to his desk and his expression remained a strange bewilderment.

“Hey claws,” Nick said, to which Ben simply cocked his head, his questions very much not answered. Suddenly Bogo yelled at them from the third floor.

“WHOPS, MY OFFICE, NOW!” He roared.

“Sir we can't go up the stairs!” Judy replied, losing hope for their situation.

“And why is that?” He yelled.

“I can't walk!” She said. He closed his eyes and shook his head, internally disregarding her statement. He then proceeded to walk down the stairs. Every step he took resounded throughout the atrium, and the three cringed harder with every one of them. It was taking a while for him to get all the way down, and they couldn't cringe any harder than they already were. It had been a full minute by the time Bogo was on the ground floor, and he stomped over to the two officers, fuming.

“You give me a one hour notice that you won't be in today for a bogus reason, and then you show up an hour late after I order you to be here. What kind of show do you think we run here? You've been with the force long enough to know not to bullshit,” he said, seething with anger.

“Sir, we are both partially paralyzed…”

“By what, Hopps?!”

“A Curse…”

“Really? Oh, I think I know just the one, but sadly stupidity isn't exactly a curse I'd be willing to let you off on!”

“Sir she's not lying, that raccoon we were sent to do a well-check on... it wasn't just a murder, that's why we handed it over to the A3I.”

“Jesus, you two are a magnet…” Bogo said, face-hoofing. “So what exactly is the problem, and what do we need to do to get this solved quickly and quietly?”

“I can't really walk, and Nick can't use his paws. We’ll have to contact our… contacts. They know what to do.”

“Ugh… fine. You two really need to quit getting involved in all this.”

“We’ll try, sir,” Judy said.

“Get this figured out quick. I'll give you a day or two to get this sorted out, but don’t take your sweet time, we need you on the streets. Dismissed,” He said and walked away, back up to his office. Judy immediately took out her phone and called the agents again.

“Yeah, hey, we need you guys to come pick us up at precinct one… we’re not in immediate danger but we're incapacitated, and we need to get this sorted out soon… Ok, see you soon, buh-bye,” Judy said, hearing Tanya faintly just before she hung up.

_ “Eee! She did it again!” _ She said.  _ Did what again? _ Judy wondered.

“They'll be here soon,” Judy said to Nick.


	3. In Zootopia, Case Crack You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gee, this took a while! I sort of lost interest in writing, I think it was because I was changing my style to what I thought people prefer, rather than just writing how I like. That, and school was very busy, but I dropped a class that was really stressing me out so I'll be feeling better and have more time to do fun stuff like this.
> 
> I think this chapter is back to my normal, goofy style, and that is really what this story is all about. I've edited the first two chapters a bit, so check that out, see if there's any errors or anything. Also, I'm aware that these two's predicament is not dissimilar to real disabilities, and I will try to be sensitive to that (with humor, of course).
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, enjoy!

_“Ok, see you soon, buh-bye.”_

“Eee! She did it again! She said buh-bye! Adorable!” Tanya said as she put the phone back into its receiver on James’ desk.

“So, when do you plan on asking her out?” James teased from behind the open drawer of a filing cabinet.

“Oh you are the worst! Why do you always have to make things weird?” Tanya replied, frowning at him.

“Well, first because it's funny, second because it's true. You have a crush on her, a tiny one, but one nonetheless,” James replied, closing the filing cabinet and resting an elbow on it, preparing for a volley of nonsense between the two.

“Really? What makes you so sure?”

“Think about her fluffy little tail,” James said. She tried not to, but immediately the thought of Judy's _adorable little tail_ flooded her mind. “I saw that! I saw the look in your eyes!”

“Hey, that's not… no! Just cause I think its cute doesn't mean I've got a crush on her! I… I think everything is cute!” She retorted, flustered.

“Oh really? Then do you think _my_ tail is cute?” James asked. Tanya looked away and gave a shy smile.

“Yeah…” she said, embarrassed.

“Oh! Oh geez, well I was not expecting that… man this is awkward… I figured you woulda said no, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that…”

“No it's ok, don't worry about it. You do stuff like that all the time, I would have stopped you if I ever thought you were going to be right,” She said, smiling at her low key insult. James picked up on it and laughed awkwardly.

“A broken clock is right twice a day I guess…” He said as he scratched the back of his head. Tanya smiled and looked up to meet James’ eyes, and the two shared the moment.

“Let's head to the station before we hurt ourselves,” She said, to which James nodded.

* * *

Minutes later their heavily tinted black sedan rolled up in front of precinct one, its ‘GOV’ license plate a vague hint at its occupants. The two opened their doors and casually stepped out, donning their black sunglasses that matched their black suits, Tanya holding a manilla folder. From the outside, the two had a smirk that seemed to say ‘try us, we dare you,’ but in reality, it was just a poorly hidden smile concerning _how cool we look right now_.

They used the sunglasses for additional anonymity in situations like these, and they enjoyed the look, to say the least. They walked up the steps and each took a door into the precinct, quickly going up to the front desk where Nick and Judy were waiting. Clawhauser’s jaw dropped at the sight of the two special agents, and was _almost_ speechless, although that wasn't exactly his style.

“O.M. Goodness… You're the secret government agents that know everything! Are ghosts real? Are vampires real? Who killed KGL?”

“Well, good to know we have some fans… While most of those questions are nonsense, you should reference the Valentin Commission for that last one. That is publicly available and had some excellent mammals investigating,” James said with a smile. Clawhauser was slightly irked by the answer but persisted.

“Do you know the spies that sabotaged the plans to go to the south pole?” He asked. James gave him a confused look.

“Wasn't that mission canceled because someone didn't fully close a freezer, and the food for the mission spoiled?” He asked.

“That's the cover-up! They had to stop them from finding the aliens! Tell me, are aliens real?” Ben said. James gave him an incredulous look.

“Alright, well, that's an interesting… idea… but, if you have more questions I'd recommend filling out a request form in accordance with the liberty of knowledge amendment. Whether the information is available to you as a civilian is under the discretion of the A3I. In the meantime, we have to help your coworkers, and she has to get that folder to your chief. Have a nice day,” James said, having lost his patience with Clawhauser’s increasingly intrusive questions.

Tanya started walking the folder up to the chief's office while James talked with the two. She quietly padded up the stairs, all the way to the fourth floor, and silently approached the door. From the inside, the Chief saw the shadow of a big cat appear on the frosted glass of his door, quickly followed by light knocking.

“Come in,” he said. She opened the door and the chief was met with a snow leopard in a black suit and black sunglasses, a folder in her paw. He immediately recognized who it was, and felt slightly intimidated, not knowing what to expect of a mammal that outranked him and everyone he had ever met. She gave a small nod and smile as she walked up to his desk

“Nice to meet you, Chief!” she said in her usual, happy tone.

“Nice to meet you, miss?” He asked, not knowing her exact title.

“Tatyana Vecher, Special Agent, A3I,” she said as she took a seat in front of his desk, taking off her sunglasses. She set the file down on his desk and pushed it forward. “Here is your report on Dennis Brodeur, the agency will be contacting his friends and family. That report is a fairly sensitive document, so keep it somewhere safe.”

“Definitely, thank you… so, Special Agent Vecher, are Hopps and Wilde going to be ok?”

“As far as I can tell, yes, I should be able to reverse the effects. And, if not, I'll find someone who can.”

“Good… Any sort of time frame?”

“Anywhere from a few hours to a few days. Not longer than a week.”

“Excellent… I think for once I appreciate the assistance of the A3I.”

“Ha! Yeah, this time we get to actually work _with_ you guys instead of against or in place of you,” she said.

“Indeed... well, I don't mean to keep you if you need to be on your way,” he said.

“Yeah, we probably need to get going. Thank you for cooperating and not making a fuss. It's good to know some mammals still trust us,” she said as she stood up, extending a paw and sharing a firm shake with Bogo. She put her glasses back on and left his office, heading back down to Nick, Judy, and James. The six-point buck approached her as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

“So, how is everyone doing?” She asked.

“Well, Judy can't walk, Nick can't grasp things, and I can't keep this cheetah off my back, we’re talkin full-on tinfoil hat here,” James said quietly.

“We should get out of here then, quick,” Tanya said as they walked back over to the officers. Judy was sitting on the desk and Nick was leaning against it.

“Alright guys, we gotta get going. You think you can make it to the car Judy?”

“With Nick's help, yeah.”

“I'm getting a little sore fluff, I can't keep this up,”

“Tanya'll carry you, her paws are softer than my hooves. Plus she has a crush on you,” James teased.

“You should be glad you have antlers, it makes it much tougher to shove your head up your ass!” Tanya chided.

“Oh, I'm so scared!” James retorted.

“You better be! I'd have you folded like a pretzel if you weren't a literal bone-head!” She threatened. James stuck out his tongue.

“Are we ready to go or do you two need more time to iron this out?” Nick asked rhetorically. 

“Nah we're good, Tanya just has to build up to courage to pick Judy up,” James prodded. Tanya huffed and rolled her eyes, immediately picking up Judy and cradling her like a baby.

“Well, this is not what I expected...” Judy said, feeling quite awkward with the position Tanya choose.

“Sorry, I don't know how else to hold you,” Tanya said, looking down at her with a cringe.

“I guess I don't really know either… this isn't all too bad…” Judy said, starting to get comfortable.

“Heh… Well, if it works it works,” Tanya said, a little uneasy.

“Alright, looks like we're good to go,” James said, leading the way to the doors with Nick by his side. Tanya's snow leopard instincts took over while she walked and she wrapped her tail around herself. Judy felt the fur noodle cover her and couldn't believe how soft it was. She reached out and touched it, becoming completely entranced by the fluffy appendage. She hugged it and felt the thick fur envelope her nose. She could fall asleep like this, easily.

“Judy… Judy, I gotta put you in the car… Jude…” Tanya said gently, trying to ignore the awkwardness of what was going on and get Judy back to reality. Judy snapped out of her trance and realized what she was doing, immediately letting go of Tanya's tail. She tried to pat the fur that she had disrupted back into place, flustered, and Tanya set her down on the car seat. Nick was giving Judy the smirk of the century.

“Don't you say anything slick! It was soft and fluffy and I got carried away!”

“Sure fluff… you know, I always had a feeling you might've been batting for the other team,” Nick teased.

“Nicholas Piberius Wilde!” She shouted, unsure where to even start with the denouncement of his statement.

“Oh geez, pulling out the full name… You know, I'm just gonna leave things there,” he said, a little intimidated.

“You'd better!” She replied. James started the car and an awkward silence prevailed until Judy spoke up again.

“I'm not… in case anyone was wondering…” She said. James resisted the urge to question the validity of her statement, though he did shoot Tanya a bit of a glance, which she shook her head disapprovingly at. Once the dust had effectively settled, Tanya figured it was time to get back to business.

“Well, after… _that_ … let's just get back to getting you guys cured. Right now I think our priority should be a temporary way to cope with your ailments. I don't expect getting you guys back up and running to take long, maybe a few days at the most, but that's long enough to need a support mechanism. Judy, do you want a wheelchair?” Tanya asked.

“YES!” She replied in a strange, angry yet excited tone. James set the GPS for the nearest hospital and in a few minutes they had arrived. They stopped in front of the large white building and Tanya went in, flashing her badge to the gazelle behind the counter.

“Hi, Special Agent, A3I, I need to borrow a wheelchair, rabbit-sized,” she said, politely but expecting compliance. The gazelle had a rather stupefied look on her face, seeming to question what was going on. Tanya raised an eyebrow at her, and the gazelle realized this was serious.

“Uhhh… Sure… I'll have someone bring a medium-small wheelchair asap...” She said, confused but figuring it was none of her business. She picked up the phone, requested the chair, and minutes later a janitor came with an old, rusty wheelchair. The old goat unfolded it and watched as a screw fell off, letting out a ‘hmm’ and rubbing his chin. He looked quizzically at the defunct chair and pressed on it, testing its strength. Once he was satisfied he grunted and shrugged.

“This is the only one we could spare. Seems like it'll get the job done to me,” he said in a gruff voice. Tanya resisted the urge to facepaw and nodded in feigned appreciation. She took the chair and began wheeling the comparatively small device to their car, realizing something was seriously wrong with it when she started going down the ramp. _The breaks don't work…_ she thought as she squeezed the handles to no effect. She walked up to the car and noticed the look on Judy's face as she walked around to the trunk.

The three inside watched as she grunted and struggled to fold the chair again. Eventually, it gave and collapsed back to a flat assortment of rusted steel and canvas, and Tanya watched as something fell off of it. She held the now collapsed contraption and stared into the trunk for a moment, eventually shaking her head slightly and setting the relic down. She walked around to the front of the car and got into the passenger seat.

“Another screw fell out, I have no idea where from,” she said, confused.

“What do you mean, another? Was that piece of junk all they had?” Judy asked.

“Apparently…” Tanya said, to which Judy sighed.

“Ok, so what's next?”

“Well, I'm thinking that we head back to our office. I've been studying the book a bit, and I have a few ideas,” Tanya said. 

James continued the route to the A3I headquarters, and it wasn't even a few minutes before they were downtown. They made it to the headquarters and James pulled the car into the underground parking garage below. The agents stepped out of the car, James opening the door for Nick, Tanya doing the same for Judy.

Tanya quickly went to fetch the archaic wheelchair from the trunk, struggling to unfold it. She thought she had broken it when it finally cooperated, and she set it on the ground, pressing on the seat to make sure it was safe. She wheeled it over to Judy once it passed her test and the squeaking of the wheels alerted Judy to the approach of her new form of transport. Tanya frowned a bit, upset that Judy had to deal with this rust bucket on top of not being able to walk.

“Sorry Judy,” she said. Judy’s expression quickly turned to a smile.

“It's ok, this is all Nick’s fault at the end of the day,” she said, the smile growing as she spoke the words, and the two shared a laugh.

“Let's get to our office and see if we can get this sorted out,” Tanya said, excited to get to work on testing her theories and helping the two. The agents escorted the officers to their office, and Nick took a seat next to Judy in front of Tanya. The two were nervous to say the least, as they had no idea what to expect. Tanya sat in front of them, flipping through the book and humming to herself.

“Oh, let's try this,” she said, continuing with a few words uttered in some unknown language, her claw following the words on the page. After she spoke the last word she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A moment passed and she opened her eyes again.

“Did it work?” Nick asked.

“I dunno, try and grab something,” Tanya replied. He reached over for Judy's paw and she recoiled, a knee-jerk reaction that was quickly followed by a quiet ‘oh,’ and she let Nick grab her arm… or at least try to. Her arm slipped out of his paw and flopped back to the armrest, knocking another screw loose. The four looked at the screw as it rolled in a small circle on the floor.

“Well it looks like that didn't work, let's try something else,” Tanya said, flipping through a few more pages. “Aha!” she exclaimed, following with more strange words and deep breath. She opened her eyes and gestured for Nick to try again. Nick moved his arm over but immediately brought it back in front of him, shocked. 

It was his hindpaw. 

The agents look on in horror as Nick and Judy stared at their paws, looking down to find that their hind paws were now their forepaws and vice versa

“Oh God, oh God, oh god… ” Tanya murmured.

“Put them back! Put my paws back!”

“I'm trying, I'm looking!” Tanya yelled. Nick's ears were flat against his head and he whimpered, unsure how he really ended up in this situation. Tanya hurriedly said a few more words, and immediately the two officer's arms and legs sucked back into their bodies, like a turtle hiding in its shell. They all started screaming, the officers looking between each other and the agents, the agents looking between themselves and the two officers. The screaming continued until their arms and legs emerged again, with everything seemingly in the proper order.

There were a few moments of heavy breathing among the four, and Tanya gestured for Nick to test his paw. He glared at her, but tried anyway, and her arm slipped out again.

“Oh please… please don't do that again,” Judy said, Nick humming in agreement.

“I don't plan on it… can I try one more thing?” Tanya asked. The two looked at each other, Judy shrugging and cringing, Nick frowning with all his might.

“For the love of God, make it quick…” Nick said.

“Ok, one last try…” Tanya said, following with a few more uninterpretable words. A few seconds went by and nothing happened, so Nick tried to pick up Judy's paw again. He wrapped his paw around her arm but it slipped through again, and he looked back at Tanya, shaking his head. She frowned and looked at the book, figuring they were going to need some help. Suddenly Nick started coughing, bringing her attention away from the book.

He convulsed, coughing and gagging… something was stuck in his throat. He fell out of his chair onto all fours and heaved. The three watched in horror, Tanya scrambling to find another spell. Suddenly Judy felt nauseous and began coughing and gagging as well. Nick seemed to be making progress, and he could feel whatever it was in the back of his mouth. A paw, much like his own front paw, fell out of his mouth, and Judy spat out a hind paw a second later

“Oh, Jesus...” James said, admittedly freaked out.

“Tell me they don't come in pairs!” Nick cried, holding his neck. Judy was simply staring at the paw on the floor, not quite able to process what just happened. Tanya was cringing, waiting for something else to happen, but it was becoming more and more apparent that this was the whole effect of the spell. Judy was still staring at the paw on the floor, and Nick looked over at the spaced-out rabbit, rubbing his own throat.

“You ok Judy?”

“I don’t wanna do this anymore…” she said, to which he hummed in agreement and moved over to hug her. She collapsed into him and they shared an embrace.

 _Awww! they're even cute when they vomit out disembodied appendages…_ Tanya thought, looking at the pair hugging. She immediately remembered that she was the one who had just made them vomit out those appendages.

“Gosh, I'm sorry guys, I won't be trying anything else… we’re gonna get you to an expert…”

“Oh, thank God! I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but that... that sucked…” Judy said, relieved that they were going to get someone who knew what to do.

“Well, I guess that's what happens when you try to practice black magic and you don't know how… I'm really sorry guys.”

“I mean, I guess it was worth a shot… so whos this expert you have in mind?” Nick asked.

“Oh, you probably don't know him.”


	4. A Real NutCase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 4! This one may go overboard on the ridiculousness factor, but if it isn't funny then I don't know what is to be honest (ok, aside from differing senses of humor). There's really not much else to say... enjoy!

“Well, I know everybody, so throw me a name,” Nick said.

“Eh, you never know. Does the name Yax Chong ring a bell?” Tanya asked. The officer's jaws dropped.

“No…” Judy said, a remark of despair rather than a reply.

“Oh boy, this is gonna be interesting…” Nick said.

A few minutes later they were in front of the Mystic Springs Oasis, and the two were no less astounded than they were five minutes ago.  _ Yax, of all people… why did it have to be Yax? _ Nick thought while James opened the door for him. As the four approached the front desk, Yax opened his eyes; he could feel the cursed mammals and the intensity in the air but was immediately distracted after recognizing the four.

“Woah… Oh, man! You know, I haven't seen you two since you caught me summoning herbs to sell on the street! And is that Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde? How's it going? Hey, you guys find that otter? I think he-” Yax started, on the verge of rambling. Tanya cut him off.

“Hey Yax, we’re actually here because we need your help. Know anything about this book?” She said, handing over the book. As he took it from her paw the front door opened, and James turned around to see a kinkajou walk in, immediately followed by a margay. The two stopped dead when they saw the group in front of Yax.

“Oh hey! Look who it is!” James said, glad to see the two again. Judy and Tanya turned around and immediately recognized the margay they saved together.

“Steven!” They both said, smiling.

“Heh… hey guys! How's it goin?” Steve said awkwardly, not sure what to do. He decided the least suspicious option would be just walking up and greeting them. Yax stared in surprise, half from the fact that the four knew Steven, half because Steven was showing up to buy catnip at a very inopportune time.

“Haven't seen you in a while, Steve, what's up?” Yax asked, nervous.

“Oh you know, just… uhhh… Coming to relax with my girl,” he replied, wrapping an arm around the kinkajou.

“Really?” James asked.

“Yeah… every Sunday, isn't that right Maria?” Steven said.

“Yep, Sundays are relaxation days,” Maria confirmed.

“Yeah, I see them every Sunday,” Yax added.

“You haven't seen him in a while but he comes in every Sunday huh?” Tanya asked, leaving them stumped.

“Where's the stuff?” James asked.

“I don't do that anymore man, I'm just here to help people relax. Don't you need me to help with a curse or somethin?” He tried to argue. Judy was getting irritated, she didn't want to sit and wait for him to finally give in.

“Alright, cut the nonsense, we have bigger fish to fry. Just be honest, It's obvious you're still dealing,” Judy said.

“I think they're on to us Steve,” Yax said.

“I mean, how can you be sure? You never know, like… ok, just arrest me,” Steven said, holding out his arms for paw-cuffs. Tanya shook her head, amused.

“Nobody is getting arrested... Judy is right, we have something more important to deal with. Don't you two leave though, we need to have a talk. Anyways, you know anything, Yax?” Tanya said, leaving the couple to wait.

“Yeah, this looks like it's from a place, can't remember the name, it's about 121 miles north northeast of here. If we want to really cure you two we’ll need to head over there, that's where all of its energy is concentrated,” he said, handing the book back to Tanya.

“That's pretty far… just outside the wet zone… you got someone that can run the place while you're gone?” She asked. He thought for a moment.

“I'll go out there and see if Dan's up for it,” he said. He stood to enter the Oasis, causing them all to shield their eyes.

“Woah, woah, hold on, one of us is coming with you, can't have you wandering off. James, you want to go in there?” Tanya said.

“I'll take one for the team,” James agreed, cringing. Yax walked over to the door and James followed, looking back at Tanya and the officers as if he wasn't coming back.

“Oh they're just naked you big baby!” Tanya chided, James laughing as the door closed.

“He's a brave man,” Nick joked.

“He seems to think so,” Tanya said, turning to Maria and Steven. “You two are gonna show me where his stash is,” she demanded.

“Yes mam!” Steven said, not one to disobey in a situation like this. The officers chatted by Yax's altar while the two lead Tanya down a hallway to the left. They arrived at a door, and Tanya opened it to find an incredibly messy bedroom. She turned to Steven with an eyebrow raised.

“It's under the bed,” he told her. She started tiptoeing over the various objects, clothes, and trash that was on the floor, waving the two in to follow her. She made it to the bed and cleared some debris from the area so she could get on all fours. She knelt down and grabbed a duffel bag from under the bed, opening it to confirm that it, indeed, was full of catnip.  _ Woah! That is strong! Who the hell leaves stuff loose like this?  _ Tanya thought, surprised that it wasn't in any sort of airtight container or wrap. 

She doubted for a second whether or not she should even try to confiscate it, given it wasn't sealed, or if she should just leave it to James, but her judgment was already slightly clouded. That brief moment of being exposed to the huge pile of loose, potent nip was already having its effects.  _ I've always wondered what this stuff Is like… _ she thought. She sniffed the bag again, the vapors coming through the thin fabric, and the effects were immediate. She had an insatiable urge to sniff the bag again.

Nick and Judy were quietly talking when they heard a commotion coming from the room. It started with Steven and Maria yelling, followed by a crash and Maria screaming. Suddenly Tanya slid out into the hallway with a bag and Maria in her grasp, trash flying out of the room with the two. Tanya had Maria's head in her mouth, and the officers froze, not sure what was going to happen. Tanya suddenly let go of her head to lick her and rub her muzzle on her. Maria had a death grip on the duffel bag, panicking.

“HELP! SHE’S GONNA EAT ME!” She yelled, terrified and not sure what to do.

“She's not gonna eat you, Maria! She's just nipping harder than Bobcat Margley!” Steve yelled, holding onto the doorway and rubbing his head.

“I don't like it! Tanya, bad kitty!” She said as she struggled to get away, getting coated in saliva. Steven simply stood and laughed, and the two officers couldn't help but chuckle, knowing exactly what had happened. They watched Maria slip away, leaving Tanya with the duffel bag. Maria stood up and shook her arms, thick saliva flying off of her.

“Ugh… Oh god… I feel like the guy in GhostWranglers…” She said. Tanya was curled up around the bag, licking and rubbing her face on it lethargically. Suddenly the door to the oasis opened, with Yax, James, and a female African antelope entering. Yax noticed Tanya but James was distracted by the antelope.

“Aw man, that took a whole 20 minutes to make!” Yax said, seeing how ruined the bag was. James looked away from the doe and saw what was going on.

“I have to deal with this-” He started.

“Aw but-”

“No, no buts, you already gave me your number, now go away before these two arrest you for interfering with a law enforcement operation,” he said, pointing to the two officers, an empty threat unbeknownst to the antelope. He rushed over to the incapacitated Tanya and threw the bag away, hitting a recuperating Steve and sending him flying back into the bedroom. He knelt next to Tanya and began checking to see if she was ok. She put a paw up to his face and started trying to drag him down, attempting to rub her muzzle on him.

“Hey, hey, settle down… Tanya… Oh geez you are really far gone aren't you?” He asked.

“Mrah!”

“Woah! Did you just meow? What the hell was in that stuff? Can you speak?” He asked.

She stared at him, licking her chops.

“Meow?” he said, hoping for a response.

She cocked her head.

“Didn't think that would work… Man, you are absolutely bombed aren't you?” He asked, laughing slightly. She started trying to rub on him again but he pushed her off. Steven walked, or rather stumbled, out of the bedroom, a big wet patch on his shirt from the bag.

“Hey, you know, government, special… secret agent… guy… your lucky I've got a pretty high tolerance for catnip otherwise I'd be… hey, where'd Maria go? Oh there you are, come here cutie,” he slurred, walking over to the soaked kinkajou. She gave a quick eye roll as he walked over, knowing exactly what he was going to do. He hugged her and rubbed his muzzle on her.

“Man, you are really sticky, have you been messin around with that weird shampoo again? It smells terrible… I love you honey,” he said. She patted his back with a smile, shaking her head. 

James was trying to stand up, but Tanya had her paws wrapped around him, rubbing on his neck and face. He gave up on trying to pry the incredibly strong cat off and stood up, leaving her dangling off of him. He lifted up her rear and cradled her as she clung to him. She continued to rub gently as he walked over to Yax and the officers, Maria bringing her intoxicated cat as well.

“How long does… ugh, stop it… this usually last?” James asked, Tanya still rubbing on him.

“Well, I'd say for a newbie like her, maybe like two hours,” Yax said.

“Great…” James said, trying to avoid Tanya as she attempted to lick him. “She's not, like, overdosing is she?” James asked, worried.

“I mean, it depends on what you mean by overdose,” Yax replied. James furrowed his brow, unsure what else it was supposed to mean.

“Is she going to be ok?” He clarified angrily.

“Oh, yeah for sure, just keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t hurt herself,” Yax said. James sighed.

“Well, I guess if she's going to be ok in a few hours we could still head over there… You think you two could handle her like this in the back seat?” James asked the officers.

“It might be a pawful, but I do want my paws back at some point,” Nick said. Judy sighed, reluctantly agreeing.

“I'd deal with a high snow leopard for an hour or two if I meant walking in the next day or two,” she said.

“I was going to be dealing with her anyways, and Dan is already set to take over the oasis… What should we do with these two?” James asked the officers, gesturing to the kinkajou and margay.

“Well, honestly we'd help if this guy wasn’t… you know…” Maria said.

“You have a way to deal with him while he recovers?” Judy asked.

“Yeah we'll be ok,” Maria said.

“Ok, good, I don't know how many more mammals we could cram in that car anyways. You ready for a road trip Tanya?” He asked rhetorically, the better question being whether he was ready to deal with four incapacitated -or just generally incapable- mammals at once.

“Yay... Family road trip…” Tanya mumbled over his shoulder, in a voice that couldn't really be recognized as hers.

“Well look at that! You're already talkin again!” James said, excited. Tanya then lifted her head from his shoulder and let out an incredibly loud howling noise. “AH! God, right in my ear… please don't do that again. Let's get in the car, and get her off of me…” James said. The group left the entrance to the mystic springs, and waved goodbye to Maria and Steven. James carried Tanya over to the car, opened the door, and set her on the back seat. He pried her paws off of his neck and quickly closed the door as she stood up.

“Ok, Yax you are taking the front seat, you two will have to be in the back with her,” James said to the officers as he got into the front seat. Nick wheeled Judy over to the other side of the car, Judy holding the wheels to break. They immediately realized they couldn't get into the car when they made it to their door.

“Hey Yax, could you give us a hoof?” Judy asked.

“Oh for sure,” He said, opening the door for them. Judy didn't want to have the admittedly dirty yak lift her into the seat, so she relied on her upper body strength to pull herself in after Nick. Yax closed the door and got into the car again, leaving the wheelchair outside.

“Somebody's gotta get the chair in the trunk,” Judy said. James sighed and got out again, walking over to the rusted hunk and picking it up. With great effort he collapsed it back, violently, into its storage form, a few screws falling off.  _ Where do they keep coming from? _ He thought as he dropped the derelict device into the trunk. He walked back to the door just in time to see Tanya sitting up.

The snow leopard was taking an interest in the two officers on the seat with her, starting with sniffing Nick, which made him uncomfortable, to say the least. After close inspection, she decided he was adequate, and she laid down. She had her paws around him and started grooming him. He was  _ not _ happy.

“Oh god… stop, for the love of god... Oh, this is weird... this isn't worth my paws,” he said as he struggled to push her away. He slipped through her paws and hid behind Judy, leaving Tanya staring at the two. Without hesitation she moved up and started grooming and rubbing on Judy, who was teaming up with Nick to push her away.

“Stop… licking… ME!” Judy yelled, the two finally getting Tanya off of her. Tanya sat and stared at the two for a moment, licking her chops, and sitting back down on the seat.

“We good?” James asked.

“Yeah, crisis averted,” Nick said.

“Ok, let's get going,” James said, starting the car. Immediately Tanya stood back up again, looking at the window, her ears down. She clearly did not like the car moving, and Nick figured he should do something before she flipped out. 

“Hey, hey, it's ok, calm down,” he said as he set a paw on her shoulder.

“Uhhh,” She said, apparently cognizant enough not to meow anymore, but still not quite all there.

“Shhh… It’s ok, just lay down, take some deep breaths, you'll be alright,” He said as he moved his paw to her back, trying to get her to lay down. Her tail was flicking slightly but slowed as Nick got her to completely lay down.

“Uhhh… Muh… Tire…” She mumbled as she set her head down.

“What's wrong?” Judy asked. Nick shrugged.

“Tired…” Tanya mumbled, closing her eyes.

“Yep, just take a little nap and you'll feel better in no time,” Nick said sweetly. Judy giggled behind him.

“What fluff?” He asked.

“It's just fun to see you being such a sweetheart, you used to be so cold,” she said, smiling. He had no idea what to say back. He just looked at the sleeping cat next to him and smiled.  _ This job is so much better than being a con man, _ he thought, reflecting on his past life. 

Their journey first took them through tundratown, and within about thirty minutes they were outside of the city, entering what mammals called ‘the wet zone.’ The combination of the rainy season, oceanic influence, and the climate control in the city resulted in a constantly cloudy and rainy region north of tundratown.

Luckily, today seemed fairly mild, and the light patter of rain was soothing. The dimmer than usual atmosphere was having its effect, and the four who weren't driving found themselves fast asleep. James was left with just his thoughts and the open road. He remembered all of the things he had seen here in the wet zone. It was a wasteland of sorts, not a place mammals liked to be. 

The ground was devoid of plants, and it was  _ wet. _ It was a large expanse of mud, the worst part being perhaps a quarter the size of the city, but it trailed off quite a ways, becoming less overcast, drier, and greener as you moved northeast. In the dry season it became a large expanse of grass, fed by frequent rain showers interspersed with bright sunny days, perfect for plant life. The grass died, being flooded out, when the rainy season started, but the roots remained, keeping erosion at bay for the most part.

It was an interesting place, the only place like it on the planet. No other city had climate control on the scale Zootopia does. The only other places that did were fully contained, the environmental influence of the city curved by large biodomes. But Zootopia let it all hang out, thus completely destroying a large part of the nearby Savannah. What was once a marvel of the natural world became an ugly, albeit interesting, byproduct of geoengineering.

But the most interesting thing about it was not it itself, but the strange things that went on within it. Nearly a quarter of the enigmas on file had some connection to it. From displaced cryptids to strange lights, to military experiments gone wrong, it seemed like all bets were off what was going to happen next here.

The clack of something hard against the windshield startled him out of his thoughts, and he wasn't exactly sure what had happened.

_ Clack _

Now he was sure; It was hail. It wasn't very big, but it was enough to wake up everyone as soon as it started coming down. Nick opened his eyes, the roar of hail being the first thing to greet him as he woke up. Judy put paws over her ears but stayed asleep for a moment. Yax was still asleep in the front.

“When did this start?” Nick asked.

“Just now,” James replied. Judy woke up completely and grunted, covering her ears, the sound too loud for her.

“What's that sound?” she asked, still foggy.

“Hail,” James said.

“Great…” Judy said. Now Tanya was stirring. 

“Uhhh…” She said, covering her ears as well. “It’s too loud… James, turn it down,” she slurred.

“Its hail, Tanya,” James said.

“Its k, I'll get it,” Tanya said, sitting herself up on the seat and attempting to reach over to the radio. She fell off the seat but picked herself up and climbed between James and Yax to turn the volume knob down. Obviously, it did not work, and she turned to James for the answer.

“Why ism’t the volume working…” She complained, putting her paws on James and burying her head into his neck. The car swerved.

“Tanya get off of me! I'm driving for christ’ sake!” he yelled. She lifted her head off of him and fell over into his lap, face-up, covering her eyes

“I've got a headache...” she complained again. James brought the car to a screeching halt.

He opened the door and climbed out, dragging Tanya out with him. She was more confused than anything at the moment, the small hail bouncing off of her furry head as James dragged her to the back of the car. He popped the trunk and lifted the inebriated snow leopard by the scruff of her neck, replacing the wheelchair with her. He gently kept her head down while he closed the trunk, and walked around to get back into the car. He opened the side door and set the wheelchair on the seat, closed the door, then got into the driver’s seat. His door closed with a thud.

The air was tense, with only the sound of the hail and rain on the car.

“ _ It's kinda cozy in here…”  _ Tanya said from the trunk.

“She actually likes the trunk… I should have mentioned that sooner...” James said, starting to drive again. The officers looked at each other and shrugged, figuring if Tanya was happy then so be it. It might be illegal but they weren't complaining, they've dealt with enough intoxicated mammals to know how much fun they are to sit next to in a car.

_ “Ooh, there's a spider in here… mmm… yummy.” _

Judy shuddered.


	5. Casing the Joint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's back! Took WAY too long, but it's back! I'm sad to say it, but I'm getting tired of this story. It's not even writer's block, I just kinda feel like it turned into an Adam Sandler movie. It's just stupid. Now, that's exactly what it was meant to be, but I thought that would be great. Sadly it turns out it's just not my thing to write stuff like this. Oh well, you can't like everything! To be fair, when I re-read it, it's tons of fun (In my opinion... I wrote it, of course I'm going to think it's funny), but there's very little purpose to it. Who cares, it's entertaining! On with the show!
> 
> Enjoy!

It had been another hour of travel and the general consensus was a state of mild hunger. The time read one o'clock, and James was ready to get out from behind the wheel.

"I need to stop for a bit… You two heard anything from Tanya back there?" He asked. Judy replied in a depressed drone.

"Nope," she sighed, "it's been pretty quiet… she's probably asleep in there."

"You wanna check on her and make sure she's ok?"

"Can I climb on top of the car to do it?" Judy asked with a chuckle, hoping for relief from her boredom. She pulled herself upright on the seat and patted her paw on the rear dash, raising her voice to get through to the trunk. "You OK in there Tanya?"

Inside, Tanya roused from her sleep and found herself in a small, bumpy, dark place. She had a bit of a headache and surmised that she was in the trunk of their car, as it wasn't the first time she had been in here. The first was the time she hid from a pyrokinetic serial killer. She ended up having to stay inside for hours then. _That was a good nap..._

 _"She didn't say anything but I think I heard her move,"_ a female voice said from the cabin. _"Hey, Tanya, can you hear me?"_ They said, and she quickly realized it was Judy.

"Huh? OH! Yeah, I'm good… What happened?"

 _"Well… long story short, you tried to confiscate a large bag of loose catnip from Yax and got pretty high in the process. James threw you in the trunk after you climbed all over him while he was driving,"_ Judy said from the passenger seat.

"That must have been some pretty strong stuff… I have a headache and I don't remember anything… What's the plan now?"

_"We're gonna get lunch, then head to this place Yax talked about and get this over with."_

"Sounds good to me, I'm pretty hungry too now that I think about it."

 _"_ _I'd bet,"_ Judy said with a chuckle.

She sat back down next to Nick and sighed, _back to waiting_ _,_ she thought. She looked out the window at the expanse of greenish soil. They were on the border of the wet zone, and the ground was covered in moss. The sky above was slightly clouded over, but the dark storm clouds were behind them for the most part.

James spotted a sign saying the next turnoff had a bar and grill, so he went for it. A few minutes later they arrived at what was a veritable dive bar that also happened to have food. They looked over the disheveled front, with its crooked neon sign and failing wooden shingles. James turned to the two officers for approval, to which they looked at each other and shrugged.

James tapped Yax on the shoulder, finally rousing him from his deep sleep. Yax awoke and immediately assumed his usual demeanor, which was similar to someone who had just woken up anyways. James opened his door and got out, retrieving the wheelchair from the back seat and unfolding it. Judy climbed in and Nick got out of the car soon after. James then went around to the trunk and checked to make sure nobody could see what was going on before opening the trunk.

"Is anyone looking?" Tanya asked.

"No, all clear," James confirmed. She nodded and climbed out, straightening out her suit jacket as she stood up. She looked at the bar and scoffed.

"This place seems real classy… definitely a little more 'bar' than 'grill' huh?" she said, garnering a simultaneous 'hmph' from the other four. James and Yax led the way to the door while Tanya pushed Judy, Nick following alongside. James opened the door and nearly recoiled at the surprisingly dark, and quite frankly scary-looking establishment. He stepped in, getting a strange look from the horse behind the bar.

He nodded slightly to him and noticed a stare or two from the few other mammals in the establishment. He stepped aside, letting the other four in, and the stares increased in intensity and frequency. The air of quiet chatter went silent as the door closed. The five looked around, not exactly feeling welcomed.

"Man, you guys are acting like you've never seen a yak before," Yax said. The other four resisted the urge to facepaw, and a majority of the patrons laughed, the situation effectively defused. The five walked up to the bar, Nick and Judy hidden from the horse's view by the large counter.

"What can I do for y'all?" The horse asked in a gruff voice.

"Just looking for a place to stop for a bit. What do you got to eat?" James asked.

"I can get you a menu here real quick," the horse said as he bent down, retrieving a few pieces of paper. "It's not much, but we do what we're good at here."

"Thanks. We can take a seat wherever?"

"Sure, and we got some spare cushions if those officers need a little extra height," he said. James nodded and walked over to a booth to the right of the entrance. Tanya scooted in next to him, Yax and the officers taking the other side. Judy climbed out of her wheelchair, Tanya sliding it under the table and out of the way so mammals had room to pass the booth.

"So, what are we gonna do? Me and Nick share something with protein and you three have a salad or somethin?" Tanya asked, anxious to eat.

"Well, unless Judy wants a fish sandwich, that seems like a plan, but I don't know how I'm going to eat," Nick said.

"Eh, just eat like a savage, no paws no problem. You want to share a fried cod sandwich with a side of grasshoppers?" Tanya asked Nick.

"As long as someone helps me eat it, sure," he replied.

"I wanted to get this veggie special sandwich, what about you two?" James asked Judy and Yax.

"I'd be alright with a garden salad," Judy said.

"I'm always up for a salad," Yax agreed.

"Well, that was quick. What about drinks?" James asked.

They all gave him a bit of a questioning look.

"Not those kinds of drinks, geez!" He said. They all agreed on water and he went up to the bartender to order.

"So what can I get ya?" He asked.

"Gonna take a round of waters, a large salad, a veggie sandwich, and a cod sandwich with grasshoppers."

"Comin right up. I'll get you the water here," the horse said as he started to fill up glasses with ice and water. James took the larger glasses for Yax and Tanya before taking his large glass and the two smaller glasses for Nick and Judy. They sipped on their water for a bit, discussing random tidbits from their week and staring off into space.

A few minutes went by and the horse walked over to their table with their orders. Tanya was salivating excessively, and within seconds it was clear that one sandwich was not going to be enough. James had taken the first bite of his sandwich when he looked over to see Tanya taking the last enormous bite of hers. She looked at her empty tray and frowned.

"Still hungry?" James asked.

"Yeah… I guess that's what nip does… can you go order me another?" She asked.

"Well, you don't want to eat too much…"

"After what I just went through, the word 'munchies' finally has meaning to me," she said. He shook his head and smiled, getting up to order another sandwich. Meanwhile, Nick stared at the food on his tray, sandwiched between two rather irritating chewers. Yax was grinding down every little leaf and veggie with his side to side 'chewing' while Judy chewed multiple times per second, stopping occasionally for seemingly no reason.

_Chew chew chew chew… chew chew chew chew chew… chew… chew chew_

"Why do you always pause like that?" He finally asked. She stared at him, surprised and motionless before chewing again and swallowing.

"I always get nervous when I eat, I think it's a bunny thing," she said meekly.

"Huh… What about you Yax, why do you chew the way you do?"

"Well ya see, Yaks are ruminant animals, so I gotta chew like this to rupture the cellulose walls of the plant cells so that the microflora in my rumen can access and ferment the nutrients. I also have a large dental pad instead of upper incisors, so I have to grind side to side to chew," he responded.

"Huh…" Nick said, barely surprised by his long-winded response. James came back with another fish sandwich and sat down, Tanya immediately dragging it over to her.

"You are going to be uncomfortable later," James warned.

"Well, I'm uncomfortable now, and this will solve that problem, so it seems like a fair trade to me," she replied, to which he rolled his eyes. She was about to take a bite of her sandwich when a loud boom shook the building. She paused for a moment and peeked through the blinds, letting out a relieved sigh and taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Wooks wie-" she gulped "-Looks like a cell broke off of everybody's favorite permanent storm system… guess we aren't headed to this place today. We need to be able to hold the soil, right Yax?"

"Yeah… we can't be outside in this kind of weather," he replied.

"What should we do? Go back or stay in a hotel for a night?" Judy asked.

"We should stay in a hotel… I'm sick of driving," James said. Tanya took another massive bite and nodded in agreement. Nick shrugged, and Judy agreed as well.

"I've got time," Yax said

"Alright, it's settled. I'll see if there's anywhere nearby," James said as he took out his phone. Nick nudged Judy.

"Carrots, don't make a scene, but could you please help me eat here?" He asked.

"Oh, right, sorry!" She said, figuring she should have been doing this sooner. She picked up the piece of fish sandwich and held it up for him.

"You got a finger in the way."

"Which one?"

"Uhhhh… index?"

She moved her finger.

"There we go," he said before he took a bite. "Mmm… man this is good, kinda spicy," he said. He took another bite and his teeth came down right on Judy's thumb. He stopped biting immediately.

"Fffffff… ow…" Judy said, setting the sandwich down.

"Sorry fluff, got a little carried away," he said, cringing.

"Yeah, I can tell… ow… I think it's ok, it just hurts," she said as she shook her paw.

A few minutes later they had all stepped outside, and they were getting prepared to dash over to the car. It was raining quite a bit harder than it had been at any point during their drive.

"Ok, so I get you two in the car and sit down next to you, Yax gets in the front seat, and Tanya puts the chair in the trunk then runs to the front. Got it?" James said, Judy slung over his shoulder. They all nodded.

"Alright… three… two… one… go!" He shouted, dashing to the car, holding Judy like a football. He opened the door and practically threw Judy in, Nick following soon after. Tanya sprinted past him and the officers with the folded up chair, leaving a trail of screws behind her, opening the trunk and tossing it in. Yax opened the door at the same time the trunk closed and managed to close it by the time Tanya was in and had closed hers.

"Mission accomplished," she said, starting the car.

"That went surprisingly well," James said.

"So where am I driving again?" She asked. James looked at his phone for confirmation.

"Uhh… Howlson's bed and breakfast… it's a couple miles down the road," he said. Tanya pulled out of their parking spot and made her way out of the lot. A few seconds later Yax made a disturbing gurgling noise. She looked over to see him chewing and figured out pretty quickly what was going on. _Oh God, I ate all that and now I gotta listen to these two chew their own vomit…_ she realized, disgusted. Nick and Judy were unaware for a moment until James did the same.

Judy could hear everything, and it was very, very unpleasant. She covered her mouth, gagging a bit, then proceeded to cover her ears. Tanya noticed in the mirror and wished she could do the same. Moments later Yax swallowed and shortly after regurgitated another bit of food. Tanya dry heaved and the car swerved.

"UGH! Could you two NOT, for the love of god!" Tanya shouted. Nick and James chuckled, while Yax simply complied.

"Hey Tanya," James said.

"What?"

_Gurgling noises._

"Hugghhh… YECH! Stop that! I'll drive this car right into the ditch, wouldn't that be fun!"

James laughed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll stop!"

Tanya's nausea slowly went away as she focused on driving, without the distraction of the two's digestion processes. A few minutes on the road had them in front of a quaint brick building, the red walls punctuated with wood-framed windows, incandescent lights shining inside. The rain had calmed to a light drizzle, not enough to warrant tactical movement planning like before.

"So… what are we gonna do in terms of rooms?" Judy asked.

"What about a room for the guys and a room for the girls?" Tanya asked, James shooting her a suggestive eyebrow gesture through the mirror. Her face scrunched up, irritated, and he laughed. Judy was completely oblivious, thankfully, and so was Yax. Nick figured it was no more than James teasing but he stuffed the tidbit into the back of his mind.

"Sounds good to me," James said. They all agreed and stepped out of the car, James getting the chair out of the trunk. He rolled it over to Judy's seat, who climbed in after Nick got out. The odd squad rolled, and walked, up to the front doors, and entered.

It was fairly rustic looking on the inside, knickknacks and various artifacts on the walls, with an almost entirely wooden interior. They walked up to the desk, covered in tiny droplets of water from the drizzle outside. The wolf behind the counter was, needless to say, slightly surprised.

"Hi," Tanya started.

"Hi…" she replied, confused and concerned

"You have two rooms available?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah… are you guys like?.."

"Special agents Vecher and Miller, A3I, Officers Wilde and Hopps, ZPD… oh, and that's Yax," Tanya said, introducing everyone with a smile.

"Huh… Oh! I'm Sarah, Wolfson… and, yeah, we have two rooms available… you guys are just here to stay overnight, not like, investigate us, right?" She asked, worried. Tanya laughed lightly.

"No, we're just looking for a place to stay Sarah, unless there's something we should know about?"

"Oh! No, no of course not, I was just worried cause, well, a bunch of mammals in uniform showing up is kinda freaky," she said.

"Yeah don't worry, we're kinda big shots, wouldn't be worth our time trying to take out a mom and pop drug operation in the middle of nowhere," Tanya joked. Sarah laughed and got to work getting their room keys and signing them in. Another wolf, who looked strikingly similar to Sarah, walked by a doorway and retraced his steps back, double-taking at the odd group.

"Hello," James said, waving. The wolf waved back and kept walking.

"That's my brother, Dave," Sarah said as she put the keys to the rooms in envelopes for them. "I'll show you guys to the rooms," she continued, walking out from behind her desk and taking them down a hall. She stopped in front of a room labeled 'one' and handed James the envelope.

"Two large single beds and a large sofa, enjoy your stay," she said with a smile. Within seconds the three males were all reclining on their respective beds and couches, watching television. The show was about modern engineering, and the particular episode was on dams. They sat and watched, nearly mindlessly, as units like 'weight of a train car' and 'length of a football field' described the enormity of the structures.

 _"The Deerbrooke Dam generates the equivalent of over one-hundred-and-fifty atomic bombs worth of energy each year,"_ the narrator said.

"If Tanya was here she could explain what the hell that's supposed to mean… how does an atomic bomb relate to electricity!" James complained.

"Yeah, really. How long can I run my house on one atomic bomb?" Nick asked sarcastically.

"About 2,200 years, give or take a hundred!" Tanya shouted through the wall.

"Huh, not bad."

A few minutes earlier, Sarah led the two females down the hall to room 'two', Tanya pushing Judy along as the three males entered their room. Sarah gave Tanya the envelope.

"Two medium single beds, if you need anything, let me know!" She said, taking off down the hall. Tanya took the key out and unlocked the door, holding it open while Judy wheeled herself in. Despite the rather rustic look of the rest of the building, it was fairly plain and comfortable in the rooms.

"This is pretty nice!" Tanya said, impressed.

"I've definitely seen worse," Judy added.

"Yeah, like your last apartment."

"Ha! I didn't think it was _that_ bad!"

"Well, it itself wasn't horrific, but with neighbors like that, anyone would go crazy."

"Yeah, true… you know, being in this chair is actually starting to drive me crazy…"

"Don't worry, it'll be over soon. Yax might seem dopey but he's got a lot locked away in there."

"Hmph, yeah. He gave us a license plate we needed to track down a missing mammal without even realizing it."

"I'd believe it… he's all about the whole 'enlightened' and natural, humble life… I think he might have used a ritual to gain knowledge, trading it for others' views of him. Knowing, for him, was worth more than other's judgments," Tanya said. The two paused, in thought, Judy unsure where else to go with the conversation.

 _"If Tanya was here she could explain what the hell that's supposed to mean… how does an atomic bomb relate to electricity!"_ They heard James say through the wall.

 _"Yeah, really. How long can I run my house on one atomic bomb?"_ Nick followed.

"About 2,200 years, give or take a hundred!" Tanya shouted, hoping they could hear her through the wall.

 _"Not bad…"_ Nick said.

"What kind of question is that?" Judy wondered.

"They're probably watching one of those science shows where they used stupid units like football fields… those poor engineers that have to deal with converting all that."

"Speaking of dumb units, I've always wondered what the deal is with the whole inches and ounces and Fahrenheit system. Why can't we just use metric? It's so much more intuitive."

"Well, it's been in place for a very long time. If you want something made the people who have been making stuff the longest are going to do it the best. All the older machinists and such grew up with inches, so that's the way it's gonna be for a while."

"Huh... You know, it's weird, most of the time with weightlifting you see both."

"Oh yeah, you know I never noticed that."

"You lift too?"

"Yeah, couldn't you tell?" Tanya said, striking a pose.

"Ha! What do you normally train?"

"Just the usual, bench, overhead, and row for upper body, squat and deadlift for lower, and some other free weights or bodyweight if I need to mix things up. Bench is like my worst, only around 230 pounds, but squat is another story. 1,134 pounds is my P.R. right now, but I'm gonna try for heavier soon."

"Woah, the strongest tigers at the ZPD are around there, you are a monster!"

"Well, there's a pretty strict training regimen for special agents, though admittedly I'm a bit of a freak. What about you?"

"Oh, I only squat around 560 pounds," Judy said, a smile reminiscent of Nick's plastered on her face. Tanya's jaw dropped.

"You're like a fifth my size and your lifting half what I do?! My god!" she said. "Wait a minute… do… do you have abs too?" She asked. Judy lifted her shirt just enough to respond.

"Rock hard abs!" She said, smiling. Tanya threw her suit jacket off and did the same.

"Rock hard abs!" She said, the two falling into a fit of laughter. A few minutes of the two laughing and repeating the phrase ensued, but eventually they recovered and settled into their room, relaxing on their phones. Tanya was curled up in a large upholstered chair, Judy laying on her side in a bed. Occasionally they would repeat their new favorite phrase, chuckling quietly. A knock on their door startled the two of them, and they looked at each other for a moment.

"Hello?" Judy said.

 _"It's just James,"_ he said through the door. Tanya mouthed an 'oh' and stood, walking over to open the door.

"What are we doing about dinner?" James asked.

"I don't know, what were you guys thinking?"

"We were just gonna eat here, they do dinner, it's probably not bad."

"Sounds promising, 'probably not bad.'"

"I mean, we could go back to the bar…"

"No! No that's fine, we can eat here."

"Agreed. They only cook it once, and it's gonna be served in like 5 minutes so we better head to the dining room," James said. Judy climbed back into her chair, Tanya wheeling her out to join the three, and the group headed to the dining room. They entered to find themselves in a rather large room with a long wooden table. A few nearly identical wolves were already sitting, as well as a family of badgers. As usual, they were all staring, except for the badger daughter, she was on her phone.

"Hello," Tanya said, to which there was a meek chorus of greetings. The five started arranging themselves at the table, and soon they were all seated, Yax between the two sets of law enforcement members.

"So, what are y'all doing out here?" The father badger asked, figuring they were investigating something. The five looked at each other, unsure how to respond.

"Uhhh…" James started.

"Can't talk about it?" the mother asked.

"Yeah," James confirmed with a smile.

"Nothing… uh… like, bad right? We're not in danger are we?"

"Oh, definitely not, no," Judy assured them.

"Oh, ok good. Wow, sharing a table with… I don't even know really, what exactly do you guys do?" the father said.

"We're special agents Vecher and Miller, A3I, we can't talk about what we do, sorry," Tanya said.

"We're officers Hopps and Wilde, ZPD. We're just typical officers."

"OH! I thought I recognized you two, officers! Its a pleasure to meet you two. And what about you, are you law enforcement?" The mother asked Yax.

"Nah, I'm just here to help them with somethin, my names Yax," he replied. The two parents nodded, and shortly after a few more wolves walked in with trays and platters of food. Neither the agents, the officers, or Yax said anything, but none of them could tell any of the wolves apart. It was like they were all identical twins… who decided to wear the exact same outfit.

Conversation started between the three groups and it became clear quite quickly that the badger family was having the same issue. The wolves had all introduced themselves, but with no distinguishing features and names like 'Sarah' and 'Dave' there was almost no way to remember all of it. The wolves were continuously harassing them for not remembering their names, and the two groups were getting quite upset.

"Can you pass the salad?" Judy asked a wolf across the table from her. They pointed to themself with a questioning look. "Yeah," Judy confirmed.

"There you go, _Judy_ _,"_ Sarah said as she laid the bowl in front of Judy, her voice the only recognizable feature. _Of course it was Sarah, who else wears a solid blue shirt, glasses, and has dark grey fur! Oh, that's right, they all do!_ Judy thought to herself, frustrated.

"Thanks, _Sarah_ _,"_ she hissed.

"No problem. Hey _Sam_ _,_ could you pass the salt?" Sarah asked, receiving it a few seconds later.

"Oh, Sam, could you get me a piece of salmon?" Tanya asked. She nodded and took Tanya's plate, putting a piece of the fish on it.

"So did you wait till you heard my name again just so you don't end up like your cop buddy?" Sam asked facetiously, accenting the word buddy. Tanya looked down in shame.

"Well you know if you didn't all decide to wear blue shirts, black pants, and the same fucking pair of glasses, we might be able to tell you all apart!" James shouted, tired of the wolve's attitudes.

"I can't believe people like you enforce the law, can't even remember some names!" A male wolf said. James stood up out of his chair, ready to kick some canine ass.

"Who said that!" he yelled, to which they all shrugged haughtily. James growled.

"James we can't make the agency look bad! Sit back down!"

"Oh, I assure you, we won't look nearly as bad as they will once I'm through with them!" He said, fuming. "Who wants to go first, huh?" James yelled, Tanya trying to get him to sit back down.

"He's kinda cute," the badger daughter mumbled to her mother.

"Keep it in your pants, slut!" One of the wolves said. The father and daughter immediately stood up.

"Ok, now I'm ready to kick some ass too! You see who said that agent?!" The father asked.

"Nope! We could try the good ol' group punishment technique though!"

"I like the sound of that!" The daughter agreed.

The three grabbed the wolf nearest to them... things were about to get very messy.

The sharp crack of an explosion filled the room, and the three stopped swinging mid punch. It was silent aside from the unmistakable tinkle of a brass cartridge, as the spent shell in question bounced and rolled on the table. Tanya sat motionless, some plaster from the ceiling in her food and fur, a smoking gun in her paw.

"Everybody sit down," she said sternly.

They all complied immediately.

"You gonna pay for the hole in our-"

"It is _not_ worth finishing that sentence… Now, two things are going to happen. You are all going to apologize and promise not to play these kinds of games with mammals again, and then you're going to remove any charges from all of our bills," she said. The room was silent for a moment, the wolves unsure how to respond. Another deafening shot rang out, more plaster falling from above her.

"Yes Mam!"

"Sorry!"

"I'm sorry!"

"We won't do it again!"

The wolves chorused back.

"Good… Let's go," Tanya said, standing up. Judy, Nick, Yax, and the badger family were in shock, while James was trying very hard not to smile. Tanya started walking out, the rest of her group and the family following quietly. The door to the dining room closed and the family thanked Tanya, saying goodbye to the group and heading back to their room. The five started walking back to their own rooms, and Tanya was feeling conflicted over what she had done.

"I'm sorry Tanya," James said, seeing the change in her demeanor. She didn't look back, but he heard her sniffle, and he put a paw on her back. She immediately turned to him, the much smaller cat burying her head in James' large torso. The group stopped just outside room one and listened as she let out a quiet sob.

"You ok?" Judy asked.

"Yeah I-" she paused, letting go of James and taking a deep, shaky breath, "-I don't really know why I'm crying," she said, followed with a laugh-sob. "I'm just tired, and stressed out, and I think that nip screwed with something… and… well... I'm still kinda hungry too…"

"It's been a long day," James reassured her, giving her a light pat on the shoulder. She nodded and wiped a tear from her eye, saying goodnight as the three males entered their room. She pushed Judy back to their room and they got ready for bed, the two under their sheets within minutes.

"Hey Tanya," Judy said as Tanya reached for the light. She looked over and raised an eyebrow. "Remember; rock hard abs," Judy said with a smile. Tanya cracked a smile and turned off the light.

"Goodnight Judy."

"Goodnight Tanya."


	6. Case Cracked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This took WAY too long! I'm finally done with school for the year, and I have nothing to do, so mark my words: I will have this story finished by Friday next week!
> 
> Also, don't you hate it when you look a chapter over a million times before posting it, then immediately after you post it you notice some glaring error, and then you're like "what will people think of me?" Cause you know you can't edit it in time to stop someone from seeing it...
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Nick groggily drew an arm to his face, shielding his unopened eyes. The white curtains were backlit by the sun, and it was too much for the newly awoken fox. After struggling to keep his eyes open he looked around, remembering where he was. He was on a couch, in a bed and breakfast that was owned by an insane family of wolves, in the middle of nowhere.

"How was the couch?" James asked from a chair across the room, the deer already dressed.

"Not bad… what time is it?"

"Twelve-fifteen," he said nonchalantly. Nick chuffed, amused.

"Really?" He asked, more intrigued than concerned.

"Yeah. Judy and Tanya are still asleep, I think…"

Meanwhile, Judy was waking up in her bed, strange noises coming from behind her. She opened her eyes and quickly rolled over, looking at Tanya as she spoke in her sleep. Judy wasn't conscious enough to fully understand everything, but what she could gather was odd, and frightening. She listened, figuring she might hear something interesting before waking her up.

"No, no… NO! You… don't tell them… don't tell them… th- meh… won't understand… go away… back up... n- no, please… I- no, I can't… too far…"

"Tanya," Judy said quietly, to no effect.

"Hey, Tanya," she said again.

Tanya stopped talking and shifted abruptly.

"Tanya?"

"Mmmm… yeah?" She replied groggily.

"Oh, nothing, you were just having a nightmare."

Her eyes shot open, the familiar glow of her feline pupils striking a primal fear into Judy.

"Did I talk?" Tanya asked, nervous, even more so than she had just made Judy.

"Yeah… It… I didn't really hear much."

"What did you hear?" She asked again, sitting up.

"Just something about keeping a secret, sounded like you were in some kind of confrontation... maybe with a superior? I didn't hear anything really concrete…"

"Oh…"

"Is everything alright?" Judy asked, concerned. Tanya let out a short laugh, looking to the end of her bed.

"For the most part… nothing that'll affect you anyways, just some trouble at work," she replied.

"Oh… well, I hope everything works out."

"Thanks," she replied, sighing. "Looks like we've got quite a day ahead of us?"

"Yeah," Judy agreed. Tanya then noticed the time.

"Oh geez it's past noon, we better get up, the guys are probably waiting for us," she said as she rushed out of bed. She immediately went for the shower, leaving Judy alone in the room. She picked up her phone and started texting Nick, telling him about Tanya's sleep talking.

_You: I just woke up to Tanya talking in her sleep_

_You: sounded like she was asking for someone to keep a secret. She sounded like she was pleading too, like she didn't want to do something because it was 'too far'_

_You: said it was work-related, but she really didn't want me to know whatever it was, freaked out about what I had and hadn't heard_

_Slick: weird_

_Slick: James keeps teasing her about having a thing for you_

_Slick: might just be something related to that_

_You: she used they and them though, like a group_

_You: Idk, maybe she thinks we're a couple? Something she doesn't want either of us to know_

_Slick: could be, who knows_

_She probably shouldn't worry too much about it_ , Nick thought as he sat on the couch. _Might as well just ask…_

"So Judy texted me, said Tanya was sleep talking. Had something to do with keeping a secret… I know you've been teasing her about having a crush on Judy, is that more than just teasing?" Nick asked plainly, catching James off guard.

"Oh! No, I… I don't think she has any real interest in Judy, but she thinks she's kinda… adorable? She thinks that about everything, she even said my tail was… odds are she was talking about something work-related, we keep a lot of secrets if you hadn't noticed,"

"Well, that'd do it, apparently she said it was something work-related too. She said something about not understanding?" Nick asked.

 _So that's what she was dreaming about…_ James thought, being able to grasp from that single hint what was troubling Tanya.

"That's complicated, I can't talk about it anyway."

"Yeah, Tanya said she couldn't talk about it either," Nick added, not bothering to add the whole 'freaked out' part. The pause of thought before James' reply suggested it was probably a major issue, not something trivial. Nick wondered what sort of trouble they might be in, or what trouble they might be trying to keep everyone else out of.

Within a half-hour they were all ready to go, the officers finally having bathed after not doing so yesterday. Judy had taken a bath, avoiding the need for assistance from Tanya, though Nick had been less lucky. He had showered and needed some assistance with the soap, which wasn't very invasive. James simply stood outside the shower and squeezed some shampoo onto the fox's paw. The drying was uncomfortable though, to say the least.

But alas, Nick had survived, and Yax refused to bathe so they were getting ready to leave. The plan was to get something to eat and head to the location where the curing ritual was to be performed. They all left the building and headed to the agent's car, and were on the road in minutes. There was a Bug-Burga nearby, and it seemed to be the quickest option for breakfast.

The GPS said they were only a few miles away, but the path it gave them lead straight through a cornfield. James sat, confused, looking between the hard left turn in reality and the straight road indicated by Zoogle maps. The road to their left looked rather new, the soil darker than the road they were on, and they surmised that it must not be in the system yet, but the agents were uneasy.

"Just go left I guess?" Tanya offered. James huffed and decided to go with Tanya's gut. He turned and they were now traveling perpendicular to where they intended on going. After a slight hill, the road started dipping down into a natural depression in the landscape, and a figure came into sight. A tall, surprisingly lean hippo with sunglasses, overalls, and a plaid shirt appeared to be inspecting the corn. As they approached he turned to face them, walking into the middle of the road and holding his hoof out, signaling them to stop.

The car gradually rolled up to him, and he walked around to the driver's side. James rolled down the window, and the hippo took off his glasses, looking into the car with a grimace. As he took off the glasses, four tan Humvees appeared out of thin air, their active camouflage turning off rapidly, and they drove onto the road in front of them. The rest of the road behind the vehicles disappeared into a large white projection screen.

"I'm Don Huppleson, Chief Warrant Officer Five, Division of Experimental Research of the Army of the Territories of Zootopia. Is Yax Chong in the vehicle?" The hippo asked. Tanya cocked her head in aggravation, and James wasn't very happy either.

"Who do you answer to, C.W.O-Five Huppleson?" James asked.

"Look, I'm gonna try to make things easy for-"

"Who is your commanding officer!?" He asked angrily, the hippo recoiling a bit.

"Ok, alright, calm down Agent Miller. My commanding officer is Major General Jeanne Rosamund."

"Yeah, and who does she answer to?"

"General Barsotti…"

"And who does he answer to?"

"The Mayor…"

"Bingo! And you know who the mayor goes to when it comes to things like this?"

"Uhhh…"

"Your answer 'UHHHH' is Incorrect! He goes to us! I think you might have forgotten, but I am an intelligence officer with a security clearance so high that the existence of my clearance level is a secret. I know things that I cannot tell anyone, not even the mayor, so when people have problems related to our line of work, they go to us. I am saying no to you experimenting with Yax's skills, and unless you want to get the entire chain of command involved, I recommend you give it up."

The hippo stared for a moment and huffed, standing up and shouting to the Humvees.

"Get M.G. Rosamund on the phone!" he said. One of the Humvees' passenger door opened, and an enormous wolf stepped out with a phone to his ear. The group watched as he stood, waiting, before addressing the general and holding the phone out.

" _Shes on,"_ the wolf said, and the hippo walked over, putting the phone to his ear. They could barely hear from inside the car, but it was enough to make out what was being said.

" _I stopped the E-team with the payload, they're denying seizure on grounds of authority… what? Oh, come on… Ugh, I'll get Barsotti,"_ Huppleson said, hanging up, reaching into the car to dial another number. Tanya and James were smiling at each other.

"These idiots are… well, I guess that sums it up, idiots," James said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Tanya agreed. The hippo started talking again.

" _General Barsotti, this is Don Huppleson, C.W.O-Five, I stopped Agents Snowcloud and Hornsight to acquire an asset from them, they're denying seizure on grounds of authority,"_ he said, waiting for a response. Tanya gasped, letting out a high pitched squeal shortly afterward.

"They used our codenames!" She said, hardly able to contain her excitement. James was almost as excited.

"I know! We never get to hear that!"

"Wait shhh he's talking…"

" _Are you kidding me? You're telling me I have to get the mayor? Jesus Christ on a bicycle, riding to church on a Sunday…"_ the hippo said as he slammed the phone into its receiver. He picked it up again and dialed another number, and it was a few minutes before he spoke to someone, probably a secretary.

" _This is Chief Warrant Officer Five Don Huppleson under the direction of Major General Jeanne Rosamund, I need the Mayor… Yes, this is very important…"_

Another minute or two went by.

" _Yes, hello, Mayor Clawsio, this is C.W.O-five Huppleson, DERATZ, I stopped the A3I's best-kept secret for a little Mil-Ab operation, and they denied it on grounds of authority, I was looking for an override… oh, I see… well, I am sorry… I'm sorry… do you want them on the phone?... Ok… Agents!"_ Huppleson yelled, looking to the car and waving them towards him.

"You wanna do it?" James asked.

"Eh, I'm kinda tired, you want to?"

"Sure," James said as he got out of the car. He walked over to the hippo and took the phone.

" _Good morn- afternoon Mayor Clawsio… yeah, ha! We had a bit of a late start today, we were on our way to get breakfast… yeah, they want to do research with a certain individual's abilities… we said no… yeah, just another stupid idea… yeah… alright… oh, I will… take care now, bye"_ James said, giving the phone back to Huppleson.

James walked back to the car and got back behind the wheel.

"The mayor told me to kick his ass if he didn't apologize," he said as he closed his door, making Tanya crack up.

"Did he really?"

"Yeah, those exact words. 'I want you to kick that hippo's ass if he doesn't give you two a good apology.'"

"He is such a character."

"Yeah, he really is. And thank God he listens to us, Lionheart was the worst in that respect. That lion thought he was God's gift to politics, like he always knew what was best," James said. Huppleson started walking over to their car and bent down to James' window again, looking everywhere but in the vehicle.

"So, uhh… the Mayor would like me to apologize fo-"

"Don't you mean _you'd_ like to apologize?" James corrected. Don practically had steam coming out of his ears.

" _I_ would like to apologize for not contacting you two beforehand, and for expecting those with authority over me to follow my orders… We're getting the other screen out of the way of the road, you guys should be able to head on your way to _Bug-Burga_ now."

"Thank you, CWO Huppleson, apology accepted," James said, backing up the car and quickly pulling a one-eighty to bring them back on course, throwing dirt and rocks at the military group. The two agents bathed in the glory of another victory over the idiots that were the military's secret research group. The officers, however, we finally regaining their facilities.

"What the hell was that all about?" Judy asked.

"That's just the military, they're always trying to find a way to harness some force beyond their control. It's a miracle they ever got the atom bomb working, to be honest," Tanya replied. James continued driving and reached the real road again, turning left to bring them back on track.

"Where did this road come from? There was nothing here…" Nick said.

"Those creeps put up some kind of optical diversion, just a projector screen really, it allows them to do stuff like making a road disappear into a cornfield."

"And those trucks that just appeared… I know they have active camo like that for planes, but I thought it wasn't good enough to trick the eye from close up!" Judy said.

"Yeah well, you also didn't know about bulletproof suits, and let me tell you, there's a lot more where that came from," James said. _A lot... things you wouldn't even understand,_ he thought.

The remark left the two speechless, and they continued the drive in relative silence, only occasionally making small talk amongst themselves. It was another thirty minutes before they were in the next town, at Bug-Burga. They ate their usual, salads for the herbivores and egg sandwiches for the carnivores. Their meals were finished quickly, and they hit the road again. As they got closer to their destination they saw a few garbage trucks, but a sign that indicated they were approaching a landfill was the most concerning.

"Did anyone ever look this place up?" She asked.

"Well, it used to be a native settlement, but that was a long time ago, a few hundred years maybe," Yax said.

"What is it now?... Someone Zoogle it," she asked. A few seconds later Judy muttered ' _you've gotta be kidding me'_ under her breath.

"Its… Its a landfill…" she said. Tanya facepawed.

"Yax, don't we need the soil?" She asked.

"Uhhh…"

"Can we just try with the garbage anyways?" Nick wondered. Tanya peeked through her fingers into the mirror, hoping Yax would speak words of comfort in this time of need.

"Well, we can always try," he said.

 _It's better than nothing,_ Tanya thought. A few minutes later they arrived at a fenced-off patch of garbage that stretched off as far as they could see. In a small booth to the right of the entrance was a very confused pig. James pulled the car up to his box and Tanya looked in, greeting him. He simply stared, slack-jawed, at the snow leopard.

"You ok sir?"

"Hoh, man... Either you're more lost than a kit in a supermarket or I drank the wrong coffee… things still haven't gone technicolor, I guess that's a good sign," he said.

"Yeah, don't worry, this is real, and no we aren't lost. Were special agents at the A3I and we need to get in here and, uh... yeah, can't really tell you... anyways, it'd probably be easier on you if you just pretend we aren't here," Tanya said. Judy rolled down her window and held out her badge.

"And don't call the police!" She added.

James rolled the car forward and the pig started shouting.

"WOAH! Woah! Stop, stop! That thing'll sink if you try to drive it in there! If you need to go somewhere, it's gonna have to be on foot."

Tanya gave him puppy eyes, more in despair than pleading, and James backed up. He parked the car on the side of the road and the five got out.

"Yippee! Can't wait to wade through miles of trash!" James said, Tanya groaning.

"Come on, we gotta do what we gotta do… it'll be over soon," Nick said, leading the way. The rest begrudgingly followed, Tanya struggling to push Judy. Yax was practically at home though, and didn't seem to mind the garbage.

"Where exactly do we need to be?" Tanya asked, trying to dislodge Judy's chair from the mire of garbage.

"Well, if I remember right, it should be something like thirty-two degrees, twenty-seven minutes and forty-three seconds south, twenty-two degrees, twenty minutes and fifty-five seconds east," Yax replied.

"Everybody got that? Good, let's go," James joked.

"Yax we don't speak map."

"Oh… well I know where to go, you guys can just follow me," he said, taking the lead. Nick and James were close behind while Tanya and Judy continued to struggle. Soon enough the two found themselves quite far behind, and Tanya had had enough.

"Alright, I'm done with this thing," she said as she picked Judy up and put her on her shoulder.

"What about the hospital?"

"Screw it, if the hospital needs a wheelchair bad enough to come crawling back to that thing then I'll buy a new one for them," Tanya replied. Judy had a tinge of internal conflict before realizing that she _really didn't give a shit about the rusty old pile of junk._ The more she thought about it, the clearer it became to her that she cared more about getting out of the chair than the device itself. She was brought out of her thoughts by Tanya screaming and jumping at least five feet In the air. Judy screamed for the brief moment they were in the air and braced for impact. The landing was surprisingly soft.

"What happened?! What's going on?!"

"It was nothing! Everything's fine! It's just… I thought there was a snake, but it was just a cucumber."

"A cucumber?"

"Yeah. those bastards, they get me every time," Tanya confirmed.

"Wait, what… really?"

"Yeah. I couldn't tell you why. Apparently it's a cat thing."

"Weird…" Judy said, bouncing slightly as Tanya walked. She put her paw on Tanya's head to balance herself. "I feel like a parrot."

"Judy wanna cracker?"

"There's a box of Rhits over there," she joked, pointing to the red box of name brand crackers.

"I'd give you a dollar to eat one if there's still any in there."

"Well, we just had breakfast, so maybe some other time… Also, only one dollar? Really?"

"I'd do it if they were still in the plastic wrap."

"For a dollar?"

"Yeah… Hell, in the wrap, I'd do it for free! Those things put the 'crack' in crackers."

"Well, you also eat spiders so I guess that shouldn't surprise me," Judy teased.

"Ok, first off, every predator eats spiders! They're like tasty little protein Easter eggs, they're everywhere but you don't know if you're going to find one or not, so when you do, it's really fun and exciting! And secondly, how can you be so sure that I eat spiders? You've never seen me eat a spider, have you?"

"I didn't _see_ anything, but I did _hear_ you eat a spider when you were in the trunk."

"Ohhhh… crap… yeah, the trunk always has a spider or two in it."

"Yuck… I hate spiders, I can't imagine eating one," Judy complained. Up ahead the other three were standing, allowing the two females to finally catch up. Tanya, James, Nick, and Judy waited and carefully watched Yax, who had stopped. He raised a hoof into the air, seemingly trying to measure some kind of angle in the sky.

"We're here," he said, leaving the four almost speechless. Their journey was over, and for Nick and Judy, a cure to their strange curse was steps away.

"What do we do?" Tanya asked.

"Well, I need the book first," Yax said. James stepped forward and pulled the book out of his jacket pocket, the tall deer handing the book to his fellow ungulate.

"Could you imagine if we forgot the book?" Tanya joked.

"I would definitely cry," Nick confirmed.

"I'd eat an entire box of trash crackers like the good parrot I am," Judy said.

"Ha! How'd you get up there? And where's the chair?" Nick wondered, only now noticing where Judy was.

"Chair is where it belongs, amid the sea of refuse, and I put her up here," Tanya clarified.

"Good choice," Nick said.

"Are we ready to do this?" Judy asked.

"Totally! Just come over here and we'll get you two back to normal in no time," Yax said. Tanya set Judy down and Nick walked over to help, Judy grabbing on to his arm. The two walked over to Yax, wondering whether this was going to work. He opened the book and started sifting through pages.

"Oh man, this is a good one."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Judy asked, nervous. Tanya had her curiosity peaked, and was intent on learning from Yax.

"Oh nothin, just a spell I like," he said as he continued to sift through pages. "Oh, here we go!" He said, stopping on a page. He then spoke a few words in the book's ancient language, causing the wind to blow. He took a deep breath, holding the book up to the sky, and James' coat started flapping in the breeze. Before he knew it, it was stuck on his antlers and Tanya was too focused on Yax to help.

"Hey, Tanya, could ya give me a paw here… Ton-ton… Tawny… Help… Tatyana!"

"Shhh! Let him focus!" She replied, not bothering to look at what was going on. The book started emitting purple light, a similar color forming above them, high in the clouds. Slowly the halo of violet around the book started to form into a shape akin to a lightning bolt, and it continued up to the clouds. Yax let go of the book and it remained in the air as if it were frozen in place. He bent down and picked up a hoof-full of garbage, a take-out cup lid falling out of his grasp and being carried by the wind right into James' snout.

With his arms held in place by his horn-tangled jacket, James was defenseless against the refuse frisbee, and it bounced right off of his nose. Judy tracked the lid as it flew and smiled at the situation James was in. Nick was too stressed to pay attention to anything but Yax, and he held Judy closer as he felt his fur stand on end as if he was statically charged. Yax brought the now glowing ball of trash between the two and the book, and the purple glow around the garbage began solidifying into a bolt, connecting with the book.

The two struggled to feel the others embrace as the static feeling grew and turned into numbness. A tendril of light started working its way toward them and the two fell to their knees, losing control of their muscles. The last thing Nick remembered was a flash of light and the feeling vanishing, then holding Judy as the two drifted into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "Mayor Clawsio" is in reference to the current mayor of New York, but I don't mean the comments the agents make to be any sort of political commentary. I know Jack-shit about the guy other than his name is Bill De Blasio and he's running as a Democrat.
> 
> Anyways, please review and follow and all that, it helps me know how I'm doing. Seriously, any critique you might have that you think is just nit-picky is probably something that could help me improve, and you almost certainly will not hurt my feelings. Something said in good spirits will always plainly appear as so.
> 
> Also, I always say "Enjoy!" After my intro authors note. I kinda wanna do something ridiculous, hopefully in reference to a TV show or movie.
> 
> Read on, and prosper?
> 
> Frankly, Spook, I don't give a damn?
> 
> Don't cross the storylines?
> 
> The plot is out there?
> 
> Idk, vote 1, 2, 3, or 4 in the comments, or suggest a new one.
> 
> And one last thing, I must be some kind of moron, cause I had no clue that ridiculous was spelled with an 'I'. Apparently if you use an 'E' it refers to a roman God.


	7. Case Closed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter. This was fun to write honestly, just cranking it out, and I think it's a really damn good chapter to end off on, if I do say so myself.
> 
> Read on and prosper!
> 
> Yeah, nobody voted, BTW... (that was on the original FF.net story, don't worry, y'all can still vote if you want!)

Tanya sat, curled up on James' living room chair, sipping some tea and perusing a mathematics journal on her phone while she waited for the two officers to wake up. They were currently on the couch, Judy holding Nick's arm, her head buried into his chest and his other arm wrapped around her. The ritual completely knocked them out and the agents had driven them back to the city, dropping off Yax at the Mystic Springs before going to James' apartment in the Meadowlands, just north of downtown.

It was six o'clock, and James was making dinner with his roommate, Salvator, a grey wolf. On the menu tonight was gnocchi for the prey and chicken parmesan for the predators.

"Food should be ready in a few minutes. Any signs of consciousness from the two?" James asked, poking his head into the room.

"Not even a peep, they are sound asleep," Tanya replied, looking over at the two officers on the couch. They were embracing each other when they conked out, so the agents left them like that.

"I'll let Sal know, see what he says about waking them up," James said, walking back into the kitchen. Tanya looked over at the blob of red, gray, and blue on the couch and took a picture to tease them with later. Sal then walked into the room with a bottle of caffeinated water, which threw a wrench into the mechanism that was Tanya's brain. _How is he gonna get an unconscious mammal to drink? Is he gonna inject it?_ She wondered. Sal noticed the confused look on her face.

"Caffeine absorbs well through the skin, just soak a little into someone's fur and they'll be awake in no time," he said, pouring some of the water onto a towel. He pressed the towel onto Nick's shoulder, then Judy's, leaving wet patches of fur. "Unless there's a more serious issue here, this should definitely wake them up," he said, leaving the room.

"Huh…"

Tanya thought of all the possible applications of caffeine absorption through skin. _I'm gonna have to tell the uniform people about that,_ she thought. Unbeknownst to Tanya, Judy was already starting to wake up and was slowly realizing what was going on. She could hear the heartbeat and breathing of another body, assuming it was Nick, which opening her eyes confirmed. She was conscious but too tired to move, and she didn't want to disturb Nick. Even though she would never admit it, she was enjoying being curled up with him.

He started waking up too, and he also surmised that he was with Judy. He took a deep breath and could smell the food cooking, and Tanya's tea, and, most importantly, Judy. She had a pretty familiar smell to him by now, since he naturally used his nose more than other mammals as a fox. He pulled Judy closer with his free arm and felt her squeeze his other.

"You guys awake?" Tanya asked.

"No," Nick replied, making Judy giggle.

"You should probably get up, dinner'll be ready pretty soon," Tanya suggested. Judy let go of Nick's arm and sat up, getting off of the couch to stretch and yawn. Immediately she stopped and looked down, realizing she was standing on her own.

"Well look at that!" Tanya said.

"I can walk again!" Judy said, pacing around the room. Nick sat up on the couch and gripped a nearby pillow.

"My paws work!"

"It's a miracle!"

Nick got off the couch and grabbed Judy by the shoulders, whirling her around in the air.

"I can hold things again!" He said, ecstatic.

"Great! now put me down so I can use my legs more!"

"Oh, right!" Nick said, setting her down. She looked around for a moment, wondering what to do with her legs. She turned back to Nick and lifted him off the ground, putting him across her back.

"Carrots wha- WOAH!" Nick exclaimed as Judy started squatting with him on her back. He bounced up and down as she pumped out a few reps before setting him back down on the ground.

"Man, that felt good!" She said.

"For you maybe!" Nick said, dizzy.

"Sorry, just got a little excited…"

"Really? Couldn't tell… hey, why is my shoulder wet?" Nick wondered.

"Yeah, mine too…" Judy noticed.

"Oh, Sal put some caffeine water on you guys to wake you up," Tanya said.

"Sal?" Judy asked.

"Hi…" the wolf said from the doorway, James behind him.

"He's my roommate, he's a doctor in AMEDD so we took you guys to my apartment in case there were any medical issues," James said from the kitchen.

"Well, nice to meet you, Sal!" Nick said.

"Nice to meet you as well! I've heard a lot about you two on the news, and from James. You two are quite the team," he complimented.

"It's just what we do… I'd reckon we all do pretty incredible jobs here in one way or another," Judy said, herself realizing the caliber of the company she was within at the moment. Between an army doctor, intelligence agents, and police officers, this was quite an apartment to be in.

"I guess we are," Sal said, coming to the same realization with pride. "Anyways, dinner is ready, so let's eat!" He said, waving the two into the kitchen. They all sat down at the table and dug in, the two officers starving at this point. Judy took one bite of the gnocchi and her eyes almost popped out of her head. The flavor of the sauce, the texture of the dumplings, it was perhaps the best food she'd had in years.

"Sweet cheese and crackers, this is amazing!" Judy said.

"Thanks. My family's had an Italian restaurant downtown for generations, I've learned a thing or two about making Italian food," Sal said.

"No kidding! This is the best chicken parmesan I've had in my life!" Nick added.

"Oh, you two! I bet it's just your stomach talking…"

"No really, this is incredible!" Judy assured him.

"Well, I'm glad you guys are enjoying it," he said, turning to James. "Did you tell them about the thing yet?" He asked, piquing Nick and Judy's interests.

"We haven't, it's still kinda in the works," James replied.

"What's in the works?" Judy asked.

"Should we just tell them?" James asked Tanya, to which she shrugged and nodded affirmative.

"We're working on an arrangement that would give you two access to A3I resources, and let you act as special agents within the enigma program," Tanya said, smiling.

The officers were unsure.

"That sounds like quite a responsibility…" Nick said.

"Yeah… would we still be officers?" Judy asked.

The agents hadn't expected a negative response, and it left them a little lost for words.

"Oh… well yes, of course, you'd still be officers, you'd just be able to operate like special agents of the A3I while serving under the ZPD. You could call it a promotion of sorts… Ultimately I suppose it might be more responsibility, but if that ever caused any issues we could transfer those responsibilities without question," James said, hoping to calm their fears.

"And, although I hate to add this, if you guys aren't sure and you really want to know what you are getting into, it's only fair that I tell you that being associated with the A3I does make you a bit of a target. Of course, you would have the highest secrecy of any government employee, but nothing is perfect, and secrets can get out," Tanya added. That was almost the final nail in the coffin for Nick.

"Gee I don't know… being a cop already stresses me out enough…" he said.

His words exposed the intense gravity of what was initially thought to be a kind offer, and the two agents looked solemnly at the table.

"I'll definitely have to think about it… I do appreciate it though," Judy said.

"Yeah, thank you for the offer but I'm just not sure," Nick added.

"Well gee, I guess we just didn't consider the stress you guys are already under… and I can't really say what we do is easy," James said.

"Shit… sorry for bringing it up…" Sal said, genuinely worried that he had ruined dinner.

"Yeah good job, Sal!" James teased, garnering a few chuckles and lightening the mood. Luckily dinner wasn't ruined, and they continued eating, making small talk and enjoying the fantastic food. Once they were all done eating the two officers went back to the living room to discuss while the others cleaned up. Judy sat on the couch and Nick paced in front of her.

"I can't believe they trust us enough to offer something like that, we haven't really known them that long," Judy said.

"I know, it's only been a couple weeks, and we hardly spent any of that with them."

"They probably have access to the A3I's best background checks," Judy said, making a shiver run down her spine. The idea that they could type a name into a computer and determine how trustworthy someone is creeped her out.

"Yeah… I kinda figured you'd say yes, why are you so hesitant?" Nick asked, stopping his pacing to listen.

"I've spent my whole life trying to be a cop, I don't know if I really want to get involved with something so big and so… different... I mean, it might be a nice break from police work every once in a while but… I just don't know… Are you really, like, stressed at work all the time?"

He sighed, looking away for a moment, then he sat down next to her and quietly spoke.

"I mean, yeah I kinda am… I even thought about quitting once or twice, and when we were on the Paradit case I… I thought I was losing my mind. You remember that nightmare I had…" He said.

"I do, that was awful… do you think you just need a break?" She asked.

"I don't know… there's just… there's a thought that I can't get out of my head. I think about it all the time, it's like… it eats at me… I try to argue with it, but even when I think I've won it's always just right there.

"Every time we arrest someone, I think 'what if that was me?'... I always think... maybe these mammals are just people who are down on their luck, or can't get a job due to speciesm, or something, anything… and I just think about what kind of family they have, who relies on them… I mean, not everyone we arrest is going to be some cold, hardened criminal… how many of them were just someone who gave up after trying to get into the junior ranger scouts when they were a kit? How many deserve a second chance, like the one you gave me?"

She wanted to say _they all do, but that's not our job,_ but she knew that his questions didn't need an answer. Instead, she just wanted to be his friend, and she wanted to hear him out and be there for him.

"I can't imagine how that feels… I'm sorry Nick," Judy said.

"Thank you… I just hope I make a difference, for good. I hope I serve justice, not punishment," he said. Judy had never given the difference much thought, but it was immediately clear what he meant.

"I hope I do too… I never thought about it that way, I don't think I was really looking to serve justice..." she said, putting her head down. She realized that she wanted to make the world a better place, but sought to punish those who broke the law rather than simply helping mammals. He lifted his head and met her gaze, smiling slightly.

"I think you already have," he said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, there's this fox I know that you brought out of a really dark place," he said. She smiled and hugged him.

"I think we're doing just fine Nick..." she whispered. Her words were like a warm blanket on his cold and tired mind, and he relaxed into the hug. After all this time worrying about whether he was doing good in the world, he felt at ease. They let go of each other and sat silently for a moment before Nick spoke up again.

"I still don't know how to feel about their offer," Nick noted with a hint of amusement.

"Ha, yeah, same. That was a good conversation and all but we didn't really sort that out did we?"

"No we did not, Fluff," Nick added, giving his classic smirk. Tanya poked her head in the doorway.

"You guys ready to go home?" She asked, to which the two looked at each other and nodded. They said their goodbyes to James and his roommate and followed Tanya to her car, getting in and starting on their way back to their apartments.

"So, did you talk about our offer?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah, but we still aren't sure, it's kinda… I don't know, it's-" Judy started.

"Not a decision to be taken lightly… I totally understand, don't worry about explaining that to me. Me and James just figured you did so well that you'd like doing more, but life isn't so simple. Don't even worry about it," Tanya said genuinely, not wanting them to feel pressured by her and James' ignorance.

"Thanks for understanding. We don't mean to disappoint you guys," Nick said.

"Nah, no biggie… Oh, though Nick, if you really have lots of issues with stress, you should look into treatment for anxiety. James told me about how nervous you were back during the Paradit case, I should have said something sooner. I used to have terrible anxiety, it's no way to live, you should do something sooner rather than later."

"Yeah, I should. Hopefully they don't give me the same meds as last time though, I was flying, or at least Judy says I was, I don't remember any of it."

"Ha! Yeah some of those ones for panic attacks can get you pretty loopy, but the long term ones don't do that, those are the good ones," Tanya said. The car was silent for a few minutes before Judy spoke up again.

"So was that what your dream was about?" She asked Tanya.

"Oh… I can't… I don't think I can answer that question, sorry," she said, putting her ears down.

"Oh… that's ok, I understand," Judy said, not wanting Tanya to mull over it too much.

"Thanks."

The rest of the drive was quiet, the two officers still tired despite their late sleep and mega-nap. A few minutes later they arrived at their apartment building, and Tanya stopped to let them out. They got out of the car and waved to Tanya as she drove away, then took the elevator to Nick's floor. They stopped in front of his door.

"It has been an adventure, fluff," Nick said.

"You can say that again…" she replied, sighing.

"It has been an adventure, fluff."

"Really?"

"I should go to bed, I never make jokes that dumb."

"Yeah, I'm too tired to deal with you anyways."

"Goodnight carrots."

"Goodnight slick."

Nick waved to Judy and entered his apartment, immediately taking off his uniform and brushing his teeth, putting on a shirt, and getting in bed. He picked up his phone and started going through all of his notifications, finding an odd one. It was a text from an unknown number, a picture of him and Judy on James' couch. His heart started pounding for a moment before realizing it must have just been Tanya, and he texted back.

_You: Very nice, snowcloud._

_Unknown Caller: You can't call me that!_

_You: I can call you whatever I feel is necessary to tease you to the appropriate degree_

Suddenly his previous text disappeared.

_Unknown Caller: No, seriously, you cannot call me that._

_You: Did you just delete my text?_

_Unknown Caller: No, a friend did_

_You: You're a creep Snowy._

_Unknown Caller: :(_

_Unknown Caller: that's a terrible nickname, don't tell me I'm stuck with that now_

_You: I don't make the rules, I just play by them_

_Unknown Caller: GG_

_You: Goodnight, Snowy_

_Unknown Caller: Goodnight, di-... slick_

Tanya set her phone back on the counter and continued brushing her teeth. She was preparing herself for bed and noticed that she had some red sauce on her arm. She stared at it for a moment, and she really, really wanted to lick it. _I_ _'ve got nothing else to do,_ she figured, so she went for it. It was like scratching the deepest itch, and she closed her eyes in guilty pleasure.

Forty minutes later she finished licking the last toe on her left hindpaw, and stood up, stretching her back. She looked over her work and concluded that everything was in order, every patch of fur flowing in the correct direction and free of dirt and stray hairs. She got in bed and drifted off to sleep.

Earlier, Judy had made it back to her apartment and went straight for her bedroom. She flicked on the light and undressed herself to put on her nightshirt and brushed her teeth. She cleared away some of the plushies on her unmade bed and walked over to the switch to turn off the light. The room was plunged into darkness.

_Shoot..._

_I still need to buy a lamp…_


End file.
